You have to really want something,

to really enjoy it, no?

cake, food, music, money, your job, your education, life, the company of your friends, other half,-

if you don't really want it,

then it's something you can live without,

no?

until you encounter/finally get the version of it that you really want, that is.

and/but perhaps eventually you'd never get the version of it you really want,

then you'd just have to live/die knowing that you lived without ever finally getting it.

strangely as morbid/depressing as it sounds,

i'm quite perfectly fine with that.
---------------------------------------------------
WH and i were talking about a friend, whom he described as 'afraid of loneliness'.

It struck me as a little strange, to describe the person that way, because,

who isn't? (afraid of loneliness)

(i do admit) sometimes i crave being held/loved so badly all it does is make me stand stiffly and bite my lip and look longingly into a faraway space (not that this lasts more than 2 minutes at one sitting)

freedom comes at a price.

you can't have both the chocolate fudge cake and the sea salt caramel cheesecake.

it's too much.

--------------------------------------------------

'something that is incomplete/imperfect sometimes has a philosophy of it's own'

why, would you be imperfect when you can be perfect?

perhaps, it is intentional?

true?

the beauty of/in something imperfect,

yes i can appreciate that-

but that doesn't stand in the way of the eternal pursuit for the perfect/ideal.

----------------------------------------------------------

yesterday, during supper/drinks time, a woman with the loveliest eyes and cheekbones (and a decent looking nose) kept looking in the direction of our table, and it made my heart beat very fast.

----------------------------------------------------------

My father has the world's biggest misconception that if i'm dressed up to the nines i'm off to some hot date with a potential boyfriend candidate.

Call it the test of all time, having seen your bare face and drab dressing,

and still being okay/even mildly attracted still, is the real challenge.

the rationale for wanting to be with someone who likes the way you look at your 'cui-est' is simple.

eventually perhaps one day you would have to live together,

and you don't really want to give people the shock of their lives the first thing when they wake up. (imagine headlines: husband dies of heart attack at wife's makeup-free face/ wife dies from respiratory failure from husband's oily face) Also, it takes effort to look presentable, so it's great if people love you even when you're not presentable, because when you do look presentable, then it's not a basic expectation, but a plus, a bonus instead.

there are no ugly women, only lazy ones,

and/but i have to admit,

i'm not exactly the most hardworking person.

----------------------------------------------------------

print screen of a typical day in the office when my computer is less cooperative.