we,

you,

i,

hurt ourselves to make us feel alive;

eat too much to fill up empty spaces in time;

take drugs, get high, to hide the boredom of life;

wear nice clothes to conceal how ugly we really are;

love others to make up for the inability to love ourselves;

smile all the time to cover up for the tears/hurt deep inside;

walk around, go about telling ourselves we lead a 'meaningful' life

really,

what is all this?

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what makes your breath stop?

your head turn

your world spin

your/the tears fall

your mind go dizzy

your stomach lurch

your heart skip a beat

oh,

but why.

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i was a semi grumpypants at work yesterday and there was nothing i could/can do about it.

i could have been more friendly-looking if i tried but of course if and when there were customers and while i was serving them i attempted to act in less of a grumpypants manner to the best of my ability, given the limitations of my state of mind at that period of time.

i'm just waiting for my pay day to come.

and also for the essay fairy to miraculously finish my essay while i am at the loo, doing my laundry, showering, disposing of lunch, warming up at dance pract later , or having a nice nap.

any time would be convenient, really. just come, and get it done on time.

i would really appreciate it.

i can offer you milo in return.

or whatever i have in my fridge.

i don't know what fairies eat. do they eat anything?

oh, whatever.

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if i slowly took away one bit, after one bit of the happiness in my life

[eating meat, for example. or whatever that makes up some happiness]

what would happen?

if A, B, C, D, ... Z makes you/me happy,

and if i take away A from your/my life,

would you/i still be happy?

let's say you/i are/am.

if i take away A and then B from your/my life,

would you/i still be happy?

maybe you/i still are/am.

[largely, or at least, not sad yet]

but slowly,

....

....

if i take away A, B, C.....Y from your/my life,

would you/i still be happy?

would you/i be happier, even?

would you/i appreciate Z more?

but

would you/i slowly lose your/my mind?

would you/i miss the presence of A, B, C.....Y,

or would you/i end up feeling more like you/i want to die?

what happens, really?