i'm pretty happy cause i got my money back from the horrible scammer [finally, all of it] but kind of ambivalent cause everyday i get emails and sometimes smses from distraught girls pleading and asking me for help in dealing with her

'is there any way you can help me get my money back?'

and as much as i want to help them, it's kind of really wearing me down,

cause the police don't seem to be doing actively much [it seems]

and then on my side i can't do much and really,

am not obligated to do so either....

i mean, i made a police report, started an email updates thread, and advised them countless times to lodge a police report to make this a more strong case but still i get girls telling me 'oh no should i make a police report what if i cant get my money back'

first things first

justice above all, even money in this case;

when i lodged the report i had lost all hopes of getting my money back.

i just wanted to make sure this horrible woman gets her just desserts.

the case is bigger than is seems. now the count is 100? girls? and i dont know how much money involved.

maybe finally when the police really do something and that naomi woman is jailed or put in court, TODAY or like the new paper will finally contact me for a small comment on a side column or something.

so much for the media, or even the police, being the avenues/advocates of/for justice.

sigh.

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thinking of giving up eggs as well, but eee says there's not much point; the eggs we eat aren't fertilised/have no embryos in them or whatever so they're not like helpless little lives that we're very horribly gobbling.

maybe i could give up something else.

sigh.

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i like it when people say i'm hot, that i look good with eyeliner, that i look pretty in that dress, yada yada yada, but more than all of this, like a lot more, i would like it [a lot] if people liked me even without my eyeliner; with my very-cui-super-stressed-by-deadlines-didn't-sleep-well-therefore-pimply-and-lumpy-eyelids-face; if people liked me even without my so-called-so-beautiful-and-straight-hair, even without the nice clothes in my wardrobe and all.

but it's stupid,

because nowadays if i go out i have to put on eyeliner.

unless like its my mother and we're going to the pasar or what.

i've become conditioned to do it now i just can't go anywhere without it.

i mean, [its contradicting what i said earlier but] if you can look good, why not?

like duh.

would anyone go to lengths to look horrible?

not unless you're trying to test or prove something i guess.

'you look hot with eyeliner but i still like you without.'

i guess that's too much to ask for these days,

and nobody gives compliments like that.

so i will still put on eyeliner,

and as for 'cui face' days,

they are reserved for my mother.