sometimes, somethings happen, and you can't seem to control anything, or anyone,

you knew it would happen; you guessed it would happen, and yet still....

and they happen exactly as you imagine it, exactly as how you expect it, exactly as how you anticipated it.

and then after it happens,

when you look back on yourself,

it's as if it were someone else,

it's as if a part of you could say,

'aha, see, don't say i didn't tell you so'

and then maybe for a while you question yourself,

'why couldn't i control myself? if i knew it was going to happen?'

but you can't seem to find an answer...

and then...

it just draws a blank.

nobody can be sad for long,

but for now,

i just really feel like taking a step back,

going somewhere really far away,

and realising again once more,

how small my problems are,

how insignificant i am,

and how wonderful, how big, how endless this world is,

and maybe after a while things will be okay again.

need a holiday.