reducing carbon emission, better smelling poo, not-so-bad-smelling perspiration, better digestion and defacation, protecting cute and innocent animals, being good to the environment,

yes there are countless benefits to being vegetarian,

but really the question i should ask is,

is it working?

is it working? the way i wanted it to be?...

because i thought it would be the ideal solution to all my problems, plus a whole lot of benefits to the environment and my health as a whole [the main problem aside], but really,

is it working?

and i know i cannot lie.

[at least not to myself]

it's not working.

not working at all.

despite all the benefits, despite how i even [unintentionally] managed to impress others and inspire some others to follow in my footsteps,

it's not working for me at all.

and i can't seem to control it.

it's just like a slippery slope i'm trudging down leading to nowhere.

and the irony of all things is,

that i know it.

the feeling of it.

i know it, so well.

someday i know [i hope] i will snap out of it

and then when i look back and laugh about it,

it will all be just like a fragment of a bad dream.