it hurts.

=(

the last time things we so serious,
i was still wearing that grey scratchy uniform that other people say make us look like elephants or make us blend into the pavement.

we were 3 weeks? away from syf, and there was some intensive practice
miss lim was freaking out; ash was freaking out; ben was freaking out

and i lost it.
everyone was shocked.
shell-shocked.
i think we all took it for granted.

i was the loudest in the section, and at that time, it seemed like the volume was cut by half just by my absence. ash has this extremely worried look written over her face, and ben was like frowning. bingxi was slightly amused; xiang was concerned.

for once, i sat at the side and wrote notes during practice.
wrote down criticisms so we could improve, took note of who was slacking off, who was auto-piloting, which section was lousier, blah blah.

it was so bad i didnt even want to talk.
i mean, i probably could if i wanted to, but it hurt too much.
i felt like ripping my throat out.



its happening again!
jamais vu!

however manly, low, throaty, husky, frequently-teased about
its something i cant live without
its killing me

i need cough syrup.