recently i just finished watching gokusen 1 and gokusen 2. so im madly trying to find the special episodes that are sold separately from the series box sets that seem to never-be-able-to-be-found. sigh.

its like this, i always get all fussed up over a tv show. its like for me the show has ended but it becomes my life for a while. and this show has brought japanese culture covetedness back into my normally mundane, insignificant and boring life.

its like, i ve always had this fascination with japanese culture, language and people. attracted to, deeply, yet compelled strongly, to dislike, to repel, to revolt, to be against. precisely because japanese people originated from china, that they have chinese roots, and because much of their language stems from chinese as well, i am even more so attracted to it.

as you know, according to history, qin shi huang emperor was searching for the [*warning : literal translation coming up*] long-life-not-old [chang sheng bu lao] medicine so he could enjoy eternal life blah blah and continue his reign and monopolize and be the sole ruler, blah blah.
so he looked for 7 pure and chaste men, and 7 pure and chaste women. he gave them the mission of finding the eternal-youth-pill [which obviously doesnt exist, not even now, DUH. sometimes i wonder how come a man with the intelligence and foresight of unifying/simplifying chinese language [there were only a lot of dialects at that time, no common language] could come up with the ridiculous and outrageous idea of such kinds of medicine ever possibly existing. duh. baka. -_-]

the poor 14 people [maybe i remembered wrongly the number, not sure] of course agreed grudgingly, on the surface lah. then quickly they fled for their lives cos any bakka person with just a wee bit of common sense would know this kind of thing doesnt existing. legend has it they fled to a small island to the east of china, which is japan, and married with the locals[staying the rural areas, with no proper language];integrated. of course, they brought along with them chinese language and culture, which is why the japanese language consists largely of chinese unsimplified characters with japanese pronounciations. and also why the kimono and yukata vaguely resembles some older chinese costumes worn by females and males living in the palace in the older eras.

since i like chinese language and culture, its understandable that i like japanese language and culture as well. but theres always that barrier that stands between me and it, preventing me from totally embracing it. Because after all, Japanese have done horrendous things to chinese. even though im neither a victim, nor directly affected much in any way, theres still feelings of discomfort and well as mild distaste. and the fact that up yill now most japanese still resist/ignore/deny the facts/history of what their forefathers have commited is the worst part. Their textbooks either gloss over the details or just leave it out entirely. worse still are those that change the text to their advantage, in order to glorify Japan.

and what i really dislike about japanese is their general idolism of american/european culture as opposed to their distaste of/chagrin at/looking down on asian/chinese culture and people. Theres not much to idolise about what. whats the big deal about caucasians? and why look down on asians, chinese in particular? your roots are chinese; oh the irony. The fact that after the bombing of pearl harbour, japanese were equally mistreated by the americans, yet japanese idolize them is ... really quite sad. pathetic even.

maybe my chagrin really stems from the fact that for a long time, chinese have been looked down upon. not just that, for a long time, we ve not had that kind of confidence and pride, nor received much recognition for the contributions we have made to society. its only much lately, after china opened up, that the caucasians are starting to wake up and realise the prowess of chinese. our unleashed potential. the importance of the chinese language. its really impressive/embarrassing to see some caucasians speaking the chinese language better than i can. amazing, really.

anyway, back to my fascination with japan. i guess its ironic that what sets japan apart from other asian countries is its openness and avant-garde appeal. not the typical conservative asian society. but the parody lies in the fact that japan is only like that because it was heavily influenced by western culture. i mean, what kind of asian country gives out condoms in junior high school to promote safe sex? And you probably cant imagine students in typical asian countries rebellious enough to play traunt and beat up teachers all the time. its kind of hilarious, if you look at it this way. so liberal, so open.

and that relates to gokusen. haha. what kind of asian society has teachers who have a mafia background, beating up all the baddies who find trouble with their students? it may be fiction, but its not that hard to imagine it happening in japan. in singapore, it just seems totally implausible.

its like personally, as wenlin, i am hopelessly infatuated with japanese manga, anime, music [toshi, ken hirai, mika, tokyo jihen T_T] beautiful japanese boys [who demoralise me and lower my already dangerously low morale because they make me feel embarrassed to be a girl] and cool/funny japanese actresses [ yukie =D]. But as a chinese, i feel obliged to dislike them. they stole our language! RAWR. hahah =) well. im not sure how to reach a balance point.

argh. i dont know what im babbling about. then again i always digress too much. haha.
ok. i ll stop here, cos im considering whether i should learn the japanese language properly. my dad is highly proficient in it but i doubt he has spare time from teaching chinese to teach me japanese. i ll probably only get laughed at anyway. haha. well. im damn lazy to memorize katagana, hiragana, kanji, blah blah. its not that hard but... im not sure. =)


years have passed, but history has remained. and the marks of the scar are still there.
im a chinese singaporean. thats kind of complicated.

there, your regular dose of wenlin-style-incoherence. *smirk*