i realised i have this love affair with uniforms.
its the whole save-the-hassle-of-bothering-to-open-up-the-cupboard-and-deciding-n-times-where-n-near-infinity-what-clothes-to-where-since-i-have-nowhere-close-to-infinity-number-of-clothes.

now, i love incoherent sentences like that.
*smirk*.
believe it or not, i love it when a guy smirks. its a huge turn on cos its so sexy. especially if the guy already looks good without the grin. it exudes confidence and masculinity. totally totally turn on. but some guys smirking look weirder than what i sound like when i giggle.

ok, digressed again.
ps, i guess smirks arenmt for just any tom, dick or harry [nope, not literally.]
but meanwhile, i love the way i look when i smirk. heh heh. *smirk*

back to uniforms.
first it was the nyps uniform. it was the bloody REASON i went to nyps in the first place/
ok, dont laugh at me, but honest. maybe to my chagrin, but its true!
this is what went on
dad: which school do you want to go?
me [not paying attention, doodling]: dunno. *smile*
dad: how about nanyang?
me[looks up, confused] : ?
dad : they have a really nice white uniform...
me[big eyes like saucers. no, not flying saucers, but milk saucers, ok?]: OKAY =D

thats how i got into singapore's most [supposedly anyway] prestigious and cut-throat primary school.

then there was cedar/
i must admit. the blue uniform with the grey skirt and cool tie was a really big change for me. no more sleeveless top and pleated white skirt./
but i loved the tie lah, dammit. haha.
it became a huge plus for me, especially during the first three months in jc, because it seemed like all the girls in my class wanted to exchange school uniforms with me. haha. =P and the guys all had the impression that [most] girls from my school were babes [of which i am anomalous, AGAIN. haha. sigh].
la dee dum.
cedar girls school definitely gave me a holistic and enriching education.

then i exchanged the lovely blue oversized uniform for a better-fitting grey coloured one, complete with irritating silver buttons and rings. the whole hype about nj uniform was about the material. i think for years on, students have been trying to carry out reforms to the school; inevitably the school uniform was one of them.
studentA: WHY IS IT SO BLOODY HOT?
student B:, YEA, why cant they make it in 100% COTTON?
....
school and authorities [in a annoyed voice]: it would be too expensive. AND DONT SAY YOU RE TRYING TO CHANGE THE UNIFORM! IT IS A HALLMARK OF OUR LEGACY AND LONG HISTORY! WE ARE SINGAPORE'S FIRST JUNIOR COLLEGE!

students: .....*sigh*

i like it. but, it doesnt help that the general public have the impression that we re stoners simply because we tend to blend into the walls and pavement. bleah. Then again, maybe we stone by nature. i think its a nj thing./
we should try changing uniforms, then testing if we stone as much or sth.

ps, theres this interesting legend regarding the uniform of my school and THE-SCHOOL-NEXT-DOOR. you-know-which-school. yes, all the-hua-chong-rejects who come to nj all want to go there. oh, i said the name already,. haha. =) well.
so hc has their mud coloured uniform. its supposed to be fire-proof, but i doubt its been tested yet.
and our pavement coloured uniform is supposed to be water-proof.
legend has it that the guys used to pour tao huay zhui [soya bean drink] into their breast pockets and drink out of their shirt pockets using straws.

uber cool.
i have yet to test though. haha.
and if you stand in the shower wearing nj uniform, it ll take 7 secs or more for the water to penetrate.
when its raining, you can actually flick the water off the surface and the spot where the water used to be will stick remain dry.
amazing.

ok, so now i dont have to wear that disgusting scratchy hot uniform anymore. but i miss it a lot.
i have to wear a red coloured qi pao now. *looks away*
sigh.


at least i dont have to trouble over what to wear at work, since its already decided for me, right?

i think maybe the reason why i like uniforms is because i lack the confidence that is required in an individual. uniforms give you a sense of common identity. they remove the need of the individual since they place the importance of the organisation first.
ok, believe it or not, i suffer from inferiority complex.
almost all the time.
i have to keep assuring myself of my own beauty, my own intelligence, my worth.
any confidence i have, is definitely earned, not in-born.



ok, so i guess i ve come to terms with myself.
soon i ll have to give up that flaming coloured uniform for clothes that i have to decide to wear.


i keep wanting to go back.
to wear that blue coloured uniform again.
but i know, its place is in the shelf.

what i need, is to look forward.


who will you be in the next 24 hours?
i need to find myself.