dedicated to my newly crowned 18 and 1/12 year old self.
bollocks. only writers who are full of themselves dedicate their writings to themselves. hell no. of which i am neither. A writer. or full of myself. but, oh who cares.


from :


the random and mundane thoughts of susan


the 3 bastards.


i spent a good part of my lazy sunday afternoon listening to 'sundau morning' and blasting about Selfish Bastard to my younger sister. Which was, rather odd, because it wasnt sunday morning, it wasnt raining, and Selfish Bastards isnt selfish or bastardly either. queer in a random sort of way. But when Selfish Bastard decides to go on one of his egocentric tirades sometimes it would simply piss me off. intolerable cruelty, really no better way to put it. But then i do remember that i am rather fond of him. Or used to be. Im not so sure. He is rather adorable at times, like a puppy. But he will remain, an enigma to me. There definitely is chemistry between the two of us, but lately the sparks have been flying due to all the wrong reasons.


Anyway, complaining about Selfish Bastard, [whom i sometimes called Bloody Bastard out of pure carelessness] reminded me of Seriously Bloody Bastard [Authentic]. The Fella i once emailed and was friends with. Passe. Did i even say 'friends'? God, i hope not. Anyway, HE, is a REAl [Authentic] specimen of a Seriously Bloody Bastard. I still get freaked out when i run into him at school nowadays. Of which these days are numbered, much to my delight. Seriously Bloody Bastard [Authentic] is the one reason i believe it is impossible to find love online. The mere existence of SBB [A] would suffice.


But moving on, worst of all BBs would definitely have to be the *pause* *drum rollll*


Ultimate Bloody Bastard [real]


Sometimes i do wonder of Ultimate BB and Seriously BB are the same person. I laugh nervously and immediately dismiss that thought. It would definitely have to be The Worst Thing Ever. Why does Ultimate BB get the title of ultimate? Because he has all the traits desires or required in a BB [real]. Yes, he is the embodiment of all greatness and grandness of Bloody Bastards. he, is the Ultimate Bloody Bastard, in full glory.


Of course, at this point of time, before any BBs-in-training stat worshipping Ultimate BB, i would have to point out the fact that he is, quite simply put, just a prank caller. wait, no, change that.
a Perverted-and-sick-in-the-mind-with-too-much-time-in-his-hands-borliao prank caller. And his numberous and seemingly endless claims using, [much to my amusement] a variety of handphone numbers, to 'accidentally' message the wrong person and express desire to befriend me, or outright perverted calls have become the bane of my existence. Should i be able to get my hands on his perverted shoulders, i would simply use my firm gripe to shake him n times with the strength of magnitude n where n is a number nearing infinity to ensure that his arms become dislocated such that it would be highly unlikely or simply impossible for his filthy hands to get hold of a phone so he can resume his harrassment.


It would be best if i live to see the day Ultimate BB gets fed on by numberous clumps of maggots. rotting, preferably. on second thought, the sight of it would make me lose my appetite. thus it would be best if Ultimate BBs deviously disgusting crimes were exposed by the Police and for his disgustingly disgruntled face to be shown on the first page of 'Home' section in the Straits Times. [i am certain this piece of news would not be able to make the headlines of the front page. much to my disappointment.]
suggested title: Ultimate Bloody Bastard crowned.
of course, that is merely one, suggestion.


i Checked my phone last night and realised i missed UBBs call twice. frigging cool. two points. very soon i shall ne able to bid the A levels goodbye and have the free time to dial 999 and deal with UBB myself.
what a lovely thought.

a word of warning before i end off
The world is full of Bastards
they just dont die, just like cockroaches.

susan, signing off.