if i were a bird and i could fly away, where would i fly to?....
if i were a fish in the deep blue ocean, where would i swim to?...

i dont think i ll ever be happy just staying in a cage or just swimming around in a pond...

haha. hello :)
i woke up today feeling slightly woozy like i just recovered from a hangover [i swear i did not! T_T]
and feeling particularly wise. as if i had attained some new revelations from life.

i cant rmbr what happened yesterday before i was having dinner so dun ask me i dun want to waste effort thinking it wastes my brain cells and burn calories... wait thats good... argh im too lazy to use my brain
haha. sort of like tai shang lao jun inside houshin engi aka fengshengyanyi.
i wish i had some sort of 'lazy sleeping bag' just like him... got some breathing machine inside, got air con and warmer inside, made of the most comfortable material... blah blah.
im so lazy i think i almost forgot to breath. ops

haha. thats cos i suffered from overusage of brain cells yesterday.. let them idle around in my brain for too long, den suddenly use them to think very hard... haha. the book i was reading was such a killer... haha. you know 'sophies world'? i like philosophy. :P cos religion is not that close to me and science is rather... dry. haha so i like philo... :) but its brainbrogling. istheresuchaword? lol :)

i know its rather impossible but i actually woke up feeling like qiu han. haha. i tink
:) its like now im feeling nice and warm and snuggly. wait... more like i woke up feeling like shes right next to me, talking to me now... la la la. shes so... wen rou :). *sigh*
on cold days like this i only worry about three things
1. where is my blanket so i can snuggle up and imagine shes talking to me
2. where is my gf she must be feeling cold i hope she has a blanket too i want to hug her :)
3. :P cannot say. haha

i realised a lot of things.
like i realised that 18 is not the age to have a serious relationship. its not feasible because generally guys and girls mature at different ages and at different rates. at 18 i think most girls are over the dreamy i want a prince to come rescue me stage and are ready for sth more serious... for guys i think mayb it has to take more time for them to get settled... i think if i were a guy i wouldnt want to settle down so early... haha play a bit more mahz :P

the difference between a man and a woman is
a man would want the woman he loves to be happy when he is feeling happy
but all the woman needs to be happy is for the man to be happy...

Aristotle once commented that he was more inclined to believe that women were incomplete in some way; a woman was an unfinished man.
or sth from the bible... :
'at last here is one of my own kind-
bone taken from my bone, and flesh taken from my flesh
woman is her name because she was taken out of a man.'
that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is untied with his wife, and they become one

i also realised that love doesnt change. you dont fall out of love. haha. after talking to bingxi and ben and my gf [*hugg] they gave me a lot of insight to the word 'love'... its concept, its traits... and a lot more. feelings change but love never ever does. its nice to know that. haha. so if i say i love you now and i mean it my love for you wont change ! [gf :)] feelings change but love remains

the more i change the more i think that fundamentally man and woman need each other
its a basic most instinctive need.
man will be searching for that bone, that piece of flesh that came from him...
without it he will feel empty, he will feel incomplete
the woman completes him. [this an extremely warm and heartwrenching thought. haha :)]
woman will feel lost... without man.
because she needs to find the person/place where she came from... that will be the only place that can bear her, that can accept her because that is where she originated

all this is so extremely touching. haha. to me lah.
thats why i like to see old couples sitting together and holding hands. *sigh* its just so... heartwarming... :)

but...
love binds and strife separates...

la la la. i shall try to finish that book. before it kills all my brain cells...
haha.
socrates plato aristotle are becoming my friends. haha. :)
why couldnt i study philo instead of physics? or chem? or maths? or econs....
its so much more.... i dunno.... filling. its like so deep... so probbing... i want to know more... i want to ask more questions... i want to find out... why why why

sometimes i feel like resting my head on someones shoulder. haha. that is when i am the most vulnerable. it doesnt matter who. or where. as long as you come up to me and offer your shoulder i think i ll just rest my head on it and want to love you forever... haha. maybe :P

girls are vulnerable creatures. i think. i see.. haha. :) my gf is so vulnerable..*hugg*

guys are idiots. you dont need presents or letters or some long complicated courtship. haha. all u need is to be there when the girl feels vulnerable and she will love u and rmbr for the rest of her life that u were there when she needed someone the most and that thought, just that notion is sufficient to sustain her... for forever. haha. for most girls anyway.

it feels rather weird cos most pple dun blog abt this kind of thing so openly
but love is a rather lovely word [dont you think?] that people are afraid to say out loud...
why?
i wonder why....

i dont think im mature enough to love in a special kind of way yet. haha
:) what about you?