update of my life, so far-
with fanny, things are styll the same, dunno wats wif her, im trying hard but since she wants it to be like this then let things be, cause its a two way thing, but she ll always be my friend,and i ll always keep that pic of me and her together cos at least in the pic she and i are hugging and smiling and happy.
studies.crapp la.time to mug big time after farewell. but till then HU CARES?
family. okay lah nothin much going on :) my mom and dad styll rock hahha and my sis s toooh
okay enuf said, shall digress...
rmbr during gp lesson the other day ducro was going thru metaphors with the class or sth teaching us how to make much metaphors and identify and understand etc,. and he was like suddenly, what is love like? and he was shooting this question at random pple in the class and pple with rumours of erhem, u noe what lolx.and elizabeth said sth like love is like a meteor shower....and my first immediate thought was like, wow, thats so like unrealistic and maybe very romantic and beautiful and maybe a little naive...
i mean the whole lesson pple were like thinking about boy girl love and stuff...and the whole time i was wondering...isnt family and friends also in the circle of love?
actually love is a word that many pple dun dare to say, and even in my family we dont use it freely at all, we tend not to be so expressive of our affections and emotions and stuff, but i feel the parental lov and love from my siblings....esp from my mom, haha she rockz like when i forget to iron my clothes or too tired went to sleep straight , she would iron for me and when i wake up and worry that i havent ironed my uniform yet i would find a nicely ironed set hanging above my closet... and on rainy days when she reminds me to bring and umbrella and to USE it for gods sake cos she doesnt want me to get sick and fall ill...so much so little but so much, so significant...:) she rocks.totally.
i ll say more about love from parents...isnt it amazing that even before you took your first breath or first opened your eyes, there were already people who loved you and cared about you? because while you were this very small insignificant and fragile foetus in your moms womb, your mom and dad already treated you like some treasure...loving you and caring for you so selflessly...and thats the most amazing love of all, i think... to me, its really just....touching. okay,
about friends. haha theres platonic love of course, its the sort of feeling of well, trust and friendship and stuff...like i always feel so comfortable when i talk to qiu han or be arnd her and stuffs and i want it to be the same too, vice versa :) and i want pple to be able to rely on me, i want to share my frens problems, their joys their sorrows cos we re in this together.... its the feeling of wanting to be there for someone, wanting to hug him/her when he/she looks stressed/tired/worried/ etc, wanting to give a comforting word or just ask if he/she is alright because it makes a difference...:) and i love my frens cos they so caring and loving too... qiu han, darell, weiling, and of course theres michy, hui hui, rx, even fanny, and haha yeah youzhirella and jiewei and joyce etc...and theres my choir seniors and juniors and fellow choir mates and comm members who i have grown so close to over the past few months...:)
and i believe that pure frenship exists between a guy and a girl, its just harder i guess, harder to find...
okay now of course, lastly, the love you ve all been waiting for...boy girl love.
frmph, i dont think that meteor shower is a good description...felicia gave me a pretty simple but good one, she said sth like this...love is like sacrificing maybe stuff that you like for the person that you really care about...and i rmbr ducro sayin about loving not because of but rather in spite of...i think that bgr love is a sort of bittersweet thing, esp if you re only 17. cos you lack the maturity and stuff, and all you know is that you like the person and the person likes you back and you two are together... i dunno, seems quite stupid but beautiful to me, just wanting to be wif the special person....but its not very wise to pursue it at this age, i shuld tink...
in a more comic sense i think this sort of love is much like, erm, donating blood...lolx.seriously. most people dont really dare to do it the first time, they re scared of the pain... you know what i mean?i ve tried (donating blood la lolx not being in a relationship)
i went to donate blood this year, first time, and by myself. i was determined to do it cos i ve wanted to do it for a long time, wonder what it feels like to save people...so i signed up and went...not scary at all, maybe cause i went there mentally prepared...and not painful,in fact, i felt quite numb...and pretty bored the part where i just lied there on the couch after the oked the tube into my vein and started drawing my blood oh-so-ever-slowly...lolx. really nearly fell asleep.*yawnz*
i guess thats the feeling for me... feeling numb... and after seeing the huge packet of MY blood which can be used to save pple ( hey im a blood group O person...haha generous ) , i felt myself swelling up with pride...i guess in some way i d feel proud to love a person :) anyway i love lots of people now :) what does it matter?
saying the L word seems so hard to people nowadays...but sometimes, love cannot just be felt...it must be said...so if u see someone u really love and he/she looks like she/he is going to break down or is in need of a hug, go up to him/her and give him/her a hug and say you love him/her and ask him/her to hang on there...i ve felt the effects of this and i must say it nearly brought me to tears ( i said NEARLY, okay? haha im styll wenlin u know) and i felt really loved.:)next time you think u want to 'love' a person,think deeply and thoroughly and seriously and ponder if its love or just infatuation. you may be surprised.:)
hahaz, okkie enuf said, very lONG entry and i ve crapped a lot at this weird hour.
ooOOOOhz good morning readers :) hahaz okkies shall go sleep liao, and meet my beloved zhou gong for a long game of chess.
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