The aftermath

Just finished bathing, feeling kind of tired, after all the hard work, joy, sweat(LOTS of it, in fact >_< especially while teaching and choreoging the comm dance ) fun, laughter (tears of other people of course, I wun t cry one anyway, even if the last person on earth cried I styll wun t . anyway now I feel like crying, nearly did, but all for the wrong reasons. Forget that, don’t want to talk about it.)

I guess it was worth it, all those dance remedial lessons, extra hours, extra hard work and sweat, when we saw the seniors come, all the hard work we did just finished in less than one hour >_< it was so fast I didn’t really get to enjoy it, the fruits of our labour.

Okay lets start with the medley. We were pretty good this afternoon when we came back for extra practice (no actually I was in school since 9 in the morning today ) and so was the same for the comm. Dance when I told the comm. To get serious and do properly with style, and also the really cute comm songs. But then when we performed we seriously flopped, in my personal opinion. To me, that was really a disappointing performance, personally as a performer I would have been very angry at myself for giving such a lousy performance ( or being part of it, adding to it, whatever ) but the whole motive of the farewell is not to really make a good performance, but rather to entertain the seniors, make them laugh, make them touched, make them want to cry.
And we did it. So I guess we did succeed in some way, but I styll feel sad.

Maybe this is not the kind of ending I wanted to have >_< but then again, like theres a choice to what sort of ending one can have to a story. If this is the way its meant to be, its just meant to be kept this way, right? I really dont know.

Bah, comm. Dance, dont want to talk about it, lolx, so many people were talking about it after the whole thing and I was feeling quite sad. I guess we did achieve our motive to entertain the seniors but seriously we goofed up and of course, needless to say, I feel sad about that. But the seniors liked the funny gay way the actions were carried out or sth, found it funny. So I guess its good.

In some way this ending was a happy one because we goofed up messed up whatever some parts of the performance. How ironic, but at least we styll made it, in some way, right?

Oh and I felt like I really just did not take enough photos and stuff. Lolx.

But thru this experience I ve gotten to know some comm.people so much better ( like Cheryl and Juanita and ben whom I did not really know previously ) and we ve become much more close than before, ( not to mention we also discovered some flaws in our comm early, which is good cos we can try to deal with it and solve it now rather than to panic when it surfaces later ). Ash has been a great prez, so much initiative and drive and energy, sometimes I feel like just giving her a hug cos she always has so many things to do, so many places to go, so many people to take care of. Haha of course theres lame sida haha so dependable and always there. And the girls really worked damn hard for the comm. Dnace, theylearnt it in like, two days? And the guys too, haha even though it was kind of unwillingly initially. But I guess we all managed to pull through as a comm. And we can always aim to do better in future.

I guess after the climatic high ( is there such a word? >_< whatever. ) theres always the low crest. So I guess I fall right into that spot now. Don’t ask me why la, I wun tell you haha. :( it’s a sort of personal sulk, and a sort of reflection and a sort of ren4 xing4 I guess, im just like that, I ll be fine after a while, usually.)

Im feeling kinda childish now, you know, unreasonable, spoilt, bratty, irritating, annoying, whatever undesirable traits can probably all be found in me right now, but just let me act unreasonable for this while, let me be a kid for a while, co sim feeling sad, im feeling selfish, whatever. >_<

You understand what im saying? No one probably does. If you do, you probably think you know me well but dont or have a brain problem or sth.

Oh well, felt kinda relieved to be rid of myself of all those very extremely HEAVY and BULKY presents which I so tediously lugged to school this morning at nine am. Lolx, im sure I must have looked super buay song when I was about to get off the bus and had to start carrying the HUGE bag again and lug it over the overhead bridge and all the way into school. Shoot, even forgot my phone, left it to rot in bed, charged it but alas, i forgot it, so what was the freaking point?
Its like, whats the point of doing things sometimes when you already know the result?


>_<

Shit, im starting to switch to my crazy mood, I better go sleep le, will start spamming nonsense which after I do, I will regret ever spamming it in the first place for the rest of my life.

Okay, off to sleep. It has been a long and eventful day, and I say I actually liked it, despite it not being what I expected what it would turn out like. Okay, nuf said. Sleep le.

Ps you ll only get to read this shit tomorrow co sim way too lazy to go online now and get into an argument with my dad for coming home so late and using the comp so late.
Whatever.

i ll feel like shit if i dont cry, so should i ???.....