Im starting to think im becoming a nocturnal animal
>.<
Aniwaex
Was feeling haf sleepy
But woke up and came online
-_-
Yepps

Speaking what ash let me see today
She has this card like thing and asked pple to close their eyes and point
My box read : stop blaming others
Or sth liddat
Quite tru…im liddat…>.< tend to blame pple when things go wrong, even though I blame myself too
Yepp so I think its really good advice…
And thinking abt the entry I wrote earlier today
I guess life is okay

Aniwae, do u guys keep getting weird pple hu u dun even noe sending u weird stuff with captions like : important
Which have attachments?...must be viruses…so predictable…xianz…got so many to delete
:X

It makes me feel happy to know so many people care about me and dun want me to be depressed…I guess the image I potray when im in person is that im happy and cheerful or sth
Remember yan wen saying sth about me being a ‘yo!’ type of person and very yang guang, very sunny bright personality

But I get sad easily too, its just that it doesn’t surface much and I bounce back fasttt

So yepps

Anyway today suddenly came up to the topic of me being more like a leo…
I think it was reading xiao mi s file that started it…top ten reasons why u r a leo..
U can sell ice to Eskimos…(lol I doubt I can)
U can complain loudly ( SURE! )
U like to lead ( yesh I admit )
The rest I forgot
Lolx
but I met the criteria for almost all…except im born on the first day of virgo, not iborn as a leo…
qiu han said sth about me being both like a virgo and leo…
she said if u noe me well u can tell that from the outside I act like leo..but I sorta think like a virgo…
like im sensitive and get hurt easily…and im a perfectionist…Lol
but like a leo I bounce back quickly and im loud and frank and outspoken


And about being hyper…
Actually its pretty zun dat im a solitary rose..cos even when im surrounded by pple laughing, having fun, and trying to keep me involved, I can feel totally sad and depressed and left out…

It usually happens after the period when im super happy and mad and xiao
Then I suddenly go silent and when ppl ask if im ok I say Im sleepy but usually im not im just saddened by some small thing that means a lot to me but is pretty much insignificant to others…
Its quite good I personally think, cos it gets me back to earth after the mad fun and I sit down and think and reflect
But sometimes it just takes over me and I end up helpless and totally sad and depressed..
Horrible process


And about being friendly
How do u know when to say hi and wave?
Cos its really sad and embarrassing when u wave and pple dun see and they dun wave back...>.<
And how can u tell the difference between a cock eyed person and a tao person?...like stupid junkai…lolx>.< and ck, who on at least 3 occasions I saw him today and waved but he didn’t wave back..>.< never have this problem wif girls I realized…

about meeting up to expectations…
like todays victory was a maginal one, cos of the blunders we made in cheerleading..but the pple really spent lotsa time and effort on it so its okay
must say it’s the years 2s and yr 1female trackers who are winning all the medals lolx…its like they are zai lolx…lead by dunno how many points
its like we win this year they ll expect us to repeat the victory next year rite?...
its like so stress when u are compared wif ur senior batch esp if they are zai…like in cedar the prev batch was so good…lucky we were better than them…>.<

I kinda dislike being compared to other pple
Cos its like the two are similar but not the same..u cant expect pple to be the same rite? Cannot ceteris paribus all the time…not applicable wat
And about being compared I dun like, I am me, and you are you…y compare?...just like if last year we get silver doesn’t mean we must at least get a silver this year right?...i mean we always try our best lahz but we should not compete against our peers and seniors records but rather try to stretch our limits right?

and besides this…
want to scold m o e
its like the keep stressing the process is more important not the result, but hu the heck really cares abt the process?...to parents and students nowadays its really the results and marks that matter wat…>.<

manz boy can I crapp
anyway its like life is full of paradoxes

just like this

the statement after this one is true
the statement before this one is false

confusing and mad and infinite and endless possibilities…
and overlapping vortexes and mind warps…
its totally mad…in this world I d like to be just black cos usually theres no difference between white and black , its all just grey…

im digressing…
anyway was talking to beng hee and serene and de xnad teddy yesterday @ bus stop…and we were on the topic of cl teachers… teddy was moaning abt getting cai xiao na and I was like, cai xiao nai is so pretty! Like her eyes are so big and pretty and clear and her lashes are so long and her hair is so nice…

and they all started staring at me like im a weird alien or sth
actually no..i just have a mad attraction to beautiful things…like I said I am a perfectionist so any beautiful stuff should always be appreciated…>.< and yesh I tend to appreciate girls more than guys…but lately I found some eye candy in school…>.< lol dun tell u guys hu! Anyway its just eye candy…see see only lolx
eye candy is good…>.< lolx…
just like when I was mad over this poster of a ang mo guy wearing co0l clothes posing for the clotheswear series fcuk…it’s a really well shot poster..he looks real good…like I was just staring and my fren was like, okay if I give u the guy and the poster which one u wan? And I was like, immediately, I WAN POSTER lolx…
there are so many times when I cut out newspaper ads just cos I think the ads are well shot and look damn beautiful
and so many times I had to prevent myself from snatching off posters from the streets cos they really look good…
im mad lahz :P
anyway
haiz better go liao or else I ll never stop

~jus+ LisTen 2 Mik@ AnD lEt's cHilLou+~