feeling real off colour today.
dunno y.
maybe after the mad fun and excitement and laughing and joking,
i feel real hollow and empty and somber inside.
:(
like i said
my life is a sine curve
lucky its intervals not very far apart
so i ll be happy again
been feeling a little sick and tired
maybe because pple are used to seeing the happy hyper smiley frenly cheerful clowning me
and there used to the stubborn independent self reliant me

but sometimes
i can be sad
cos i dun wanna be the tough one
i dun wanna be the clown
all the time
it gets tiring
im always looking out for others
i wish there would be someone to look out for me.

haiz.
anyway choir today was ok except we were inefficient and only did part A and B of exsuta ...
i was feeling real shitty for some weird reason...dunno y...get so easily annoyed.
haiz.
after choir was starving cos during the extremely short break
i only drank qing teng ( our class drink!! 04S13 rox!! )
wanted to eat vegetarian noodles but Ck ate the last plate...
and sandwiches are the worst kinda thing to eat so i didnt buy...
anyway it was weird but funny,cos our table the only year two was ck...
haha

haiz.
after choir we stoned and decided to go to town
me ash ck cy honseng and the couple
went fer chicken rice which was so ex...
four forty....oh man my wallet...
then the couple left and we went to singtel shop cos cy wanted to check out sth
then ck kept saying want drink coffee so we went to coffee bean
and stoned
and sang

and i miss tao so much...must digg ( cy : digg-na-re~ cle-me... haha )out david's album and go listen...like airport 10 30 and normal frens and everyday and i like it and dislike red tower dream and today dun go home and my anata ( haha )

like to listen to lalala...piano version...its incredibly sad and it tears my heart apart sometimes, just listening to it...and i will feel like crying...feel so silly...but the piano is so sad...the melody is supposed to be happy...at least when toshinobu kubokata sings it, its so happy and fun, but when i heard the piano version my heart starts to ache and my stomach churns...and i feel tears...

haiz.

anyway during the rehearsal today saw xiao mi and kairu and fannn and cheryl....was sort a small s13 gathering...we stoned a little at the desk
and i smiled at xiao mi

xiao mi is such a gentleman...thats why he has so many female frens i guess...
haha being 'married' to him is really fun lahz...at least for the past few months...but hes pretty forgetful though....anyway we re like such good frens now....

maybe its the magic of the 3 months...
me heng yz and hui
all the magical feeling
the fun
the spirit

is gone
any special feelings too...

haiz.

life is sad.

anyway, must go dig jay out tooo

meanwhile

lemme stay sad.


~jus+ LisTen 2 Mik@ AnD lEt's cHilLou+~