double standards.

All my life I've prided myself on being someone very objective, very impartial. I (always try very hard to) never judge people too quickly based on anything, and I try to maintain similar expectations for myself, friends, family and acquaintances (except i have harsher/more strict standards reserved for myself only).

Recently, however, a friend of mine got attached to a girl who's the ex of another friend's brother, after knowing her for about a month so or less. I quickly jumped to conclusions, deeming their relationship as 'unserious' and 'casual', since judging from what my friend said, the girl seemed to not be over her brother yet, so perhaps my other friend was simply a substitute for the time being? In addition, in my opinion, one month doesn't seem to be long enough for two people to get to know each other.

In the midst of being so critical (though this was unsaid, for my own knowledge/consideration only), it was only when we talked that I realised how overcritical that I had been-

we had only known each other for a month, approximately, before getting together-

though it feels like I've known you a lifetime, and I want to spend my life with you together (forever if possible), so on what grounds is knowing a person for a short time a bad reason for two people to get together? What made me so unreasonable to think that we are the exception that everyone else is not? What was it that you and I have that I was convinced that other people don't? Perhaps we really are truly special (though no way of proving this), but undoubtedly I was being ridiculously biased and overcritical of others.

As the realisation dawned upon me, I felt ashamed.

Am I not capable of being genuinely happy for others? Am I not capable of respecting other's decision (whether the actions are against their/my better judgement)? Am I not capable of maintaining an objective and impartial stand?

Yes I am,

yes I have the capability....

so why haven't I done it?

it might seem silly and small,

but from this I've learnt to reflect on more of my small thoughts and actions,

and to (try even harder ever than before to) maintain objective,

always.

--------------------------------------------

I like being together with you because-

I find about things about myself I never knew before,

I (learn to) love myself in ways I never tried before,

It makes be (want to become) a better person,

most of all,

(it's embarrassing and stupid but of course)

Je t'aime.

Because I love you,

like no one I've ever loved before.