Being polite.

Perhaps it was my (considerably strict) upbringing, or the nature of my parents’ profession; I had been taught, growing up, that being polite, sometimes to the point it being excessive, is virtuous.

Greeting and bowing to teachers (in primary school) when I saw them, saying hello to fellow classmates, being punctual for classes and meetings, being sincere in delivering apologies when making mistakes or if in the wrong/being inadequate/needing assistance from others, and giving due thanks to others when help is extended. Things like these.

However, perhaps it was because I was never really taught how to accept apologies or thanks properly- it resulted in a strange feeling in me whenever I am/was apologized to or given thanks to.

For apologies- as much as the one delivering the apology, I would be overwhelmed with a small sense of guilt as well (unless it was a serious matter and the other party was obviously in the wrong)in causing discomfort in the other party to the point of having to deliver me the apology. On the other hand, when people thank me, it’s stirrs a slightly strange uneasy feeling, like feeling abashed, but for no particular reason; like I suddenly don’t know what to do with my hands and they’re just dangling there at my sides. I just try to quickly brush things aside and change the topic to go on about other things, because, usually it's no big deal.

But that being said, as much as it is important to give,
I do understand it is equally important to able to accept.

Evidently this is one area in me that leaves much to be desired,

and that I would have to try to improve.

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Some days you wake up feeling like everything is quite alright.

You feel neither happy nor sad,

You feel neither busy nor free,

everything feels quite adequate, quite sufficient,

and you feel content.

Today is one of those days.