it's easy to care for someone; to have a soft spot; to think fondly of; to want to be there for; to be concerned about; to be worried for; to want to take care of; to even pine for-

but it's not easy to love someone.

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I sometimes wonder what i would be like in an alternate universe-

would i be someone nasty?

someone vicious, someone jealous, someone spiteful;

maybe i would be a moody writer, or an unpredictable artist, or a boring accountant with a perpetual foul mood; or maybe a very contented housewife, with a very normal-looking husband, and many overexcited children.

Maybe I'd be fond of looking at people's lips instead of their noses; I'd like to listen to mainstream music; I'd have a strange liking for bittergourds, or lemons; I'd use an iphone, like everyone else;

who/what/how would I be?

I guess i'd never know.

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randomly got told out of the blue by someone-

'hey i love your pictures :)'

which is strange (but nice) feeling really, because i never thought/viewed my photos in this way. It's always with apprehension that i send a roll off to processing, to meet it's doom, and with a sense of (slight) dread that i click on the photo folder to open it, praying and hoping with all my might that the photos would turn out decent-

all i can say is that,

it's a relief that they turn out well.

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(and) suddenly,

I miss Hyde park.

I miss that feeling of (almost) being frozen to death, talking to myself in the harsh wind, lying down on the grass staring at the sky as if i was the only stupid idiot left on the planet, sitting by the lake watching the ducks and waiting for time to pass me by;