back, finally!

it's a bit sad but first thing i did once i got internet connection was check my work email.

i just cannot stop thinking about this project/series of reports- enough has screwed up and i really need everything to be completed and presented nicely and cleaned; to have everything wrapped up nicely before i head to brave the volcanic dust.

on a different matter-

the holiday was rubbish.

i shall not elaborate but it was like the worst holiday ever (if all our family holidays were smelly feet this would be the smelliest). My sister says i say that all the time every year (we have one yearly) but this one really trumps it, sets the standard, like the bloody ugly 'going bananas' hall ihg t-shirt they designed in my 3rd? year of uni. It's just in a different league.

in the end the conclusion i have come up with is that probably it is not the subject that is of problem but rather the actors- us, basically, that are the wrong formula. So many years, so many different foreign lands, so many types of activities, yet something always has to go wrong.

i am almost resigned to fate, already.

Looking on the bright side, in 2 weeks time i will be breathing in volcanic dust in a foreign land, and shortly after that when i get back i might be going off to London for a short bit again, and then Bangkok (yay!) in April, so there's plenty to look forward to.

Can't wait for next week to come.

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妈妈说，那天她听广播，有个广播员说，

‘旅行是你住了腻一个地方，去另一个别人住了腻的地方’

坦白讲，

是真的有点腻了，

是不是该想想，

要往哪里去?

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i honestly do not pay attention to such things.

but-

huge posters plastered over store fronts,

pink and red patterned hearts, chocolates of all assortments and sizes,

Video adverts, TV specials based on the occasion, and documentaries even-

and mailers in my email reminding me to express my affection to my 'loved ones'

why do i have to be reminded

how over-commercialized our holidays (and this holiday in particular) have become?

i am quite dreading the day, actually.

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a trigger spurred me to want to write a small well-supported essay on why i find Singaporean men lacking attractiveness compared to foreign men but i realized that it is probably difficult to do so without offending anyone, so as always, the following is based on my personal experiences, which i am aware, are rather narrow and unlikely to be representative of the entire population. The reasons can be broken down into 2 main points, which are basically the following-

1. Singaporean men lack initiative/are not confident/daring enough

2. Singaporean men are petty/too nitpicky with their money/not generous enough

it's simple really,

Men who are confident, daring, spontaneous, confident,

are attractive.

i don't know how to explain it, or a rational reason why,

but that is just the way it is/things are.

God, if, say, you have to wait for 5 dates before your date tries to make a move to hold your hand, or if it takes him 3 years to make a move to ask you out, it's hardly going to impress you, isn't it? It's common sense. Meanwhile, other guys make their move, and bang! You lost the game even before anything has begun. Smashing, really. Low risk, low returns- that's the same approach, whether with financial investments or with mate selection.

There are just some people who have a very poor sense of self-awareness and are so self-absorbed and conceited with themselves it just becomes a turnoff. In those cases clearly confidence (or overconfidence for that matter) is not a desirable trait.

But still-

timid/passive men are just about close to the worst.

And the point about generosity-

very aptly defined here:

gen·er·ous/ˈjenərəs/Adjective

1. (of a person) Showing a readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected: "generous with her money".

2. free from meanness or smallness of mind or character; magnanimous;

It is this readiness/freedom from smallness of mind or character that i find is rather crucial and also leaves a good or bad impression depending on the presence or lack of it. There is no way to talk about generosity without going back to the topic of who pays for dinner. Basically as i said before, it leaves a good impression when someone offers to pay. Yes, we are living in an egalitarian society and now men and women should be treated equally but if you want people to think of you as a gentleman, why not offer to foot the bill (especially if you are interested in her in a romantic way) if you can hold the door for the lady, let the lady go in front of you in the queue etc and say 'ladies first'?

Also, having to settle things to the very last cent- i have seen guys so nit-picky with their money it just makes my stomach churn and flip over. Is it really necessary? Is the 10 cents really necessary? You know you can keep it, it really doesn't matter. Not to me, at least. goodness. And why do we have to have the bill separately? Why can't i pay first, and then you treat me to something later or next time, or you pay first, and i treat you next time?

oh god, why?

为什么？

为什么新加坡男人不可以比较大方爽快？