Wednesday, 26 January 2011

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am <-----------> this close to finishing the first draft of the report. just 3 more charts and 1 more slide of qual to go, i suppose it'd be okay if i left it till tonight to do.

of course i still have to do the client-fieldwork list matching, and the charting for the reports that are due next week but i really feel like taking a break so i suppose i could take a short break while i'm here now and cancel my leave next tuesday and go to work and get it done in time instead.

oh well, bummer.

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it's been a couple of days but something small happened on saturday before i flew and it happened to become a bit like a trigger that set me off thinking about bigger things.

i am just a little disturbed by how i cannot seem to accept compliments from other people (aside from my sister) about my appearance, particularly if these things are not intrinsic- i mean, the normal response is just to say thanks, and to be happy right? i can't seem to do it. Like for example, if someone says i dress well, or my makeup looks fantastic, or that my hair is beautiful,
it's always with this kind of awkward

'urgh, thanks'

that i accept the comment-
(and i'm literally squirming inside)

either that or i just ignore the comment totally (prevent it didn't exist) and/or change the subject.

It would leave me with slight distaste afterwards-
because things like dressing well, wearing make up, having great hair-
these are all ephemeral things-

they don't last, they could fade with time, they could come and go-
because beauty is only really just skin deep,

and also it annoys me a bit how superficial people are (myself included) and how they are concerned/bothered by these surfacey things?



why?

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