of course i still have to do the client-fieldwork list matching, and the charting for the reports that are due next week but i really feel like taking a break so i suppose i could take a short break while i'm here now and cancel my leave next tuesday and go to work and get it done in time instead.
oh well, bummer.
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it's been a couple of days but something small happened on saturday before i flew and it happened to become a bit like a trigger that set me off thinking about bigger things.
i am just a little disturbed by how i cannot seem to accept compliments from other people (aside from my sister) about my appearance, particularly if these things are not intrinsic- i mean, the normal response is just to say thanks, and to be happy right? i can't seem to do it. Like for example, if someone says i dress well, or my makeup looks fantastic, or that my hair is beautiful,
it's always with this kind of awkward
'urgh, thanks'
that i accept the comment-
(and i'm literally squirming inside)
either that or i just ignore the comment totally (prevent it didn't exist) and/or change the subject.
It would leave me with slight distaste afterwards-
because things like dressing well, wearing make up, having great hair-
these are all ephemeral things-
they don't last, they could fade with time, they could come and go-
because beauty is only really just skin deep,
and also it annoys me a bit how superficial people are (myself included) and how they are concerned/bothered by these surfacey things?
why?
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