Okay. i am officially screwed.

I know the last time i came here (like London) i actually tried to adapt to the living hours here, like wake up at like humanly hours and be asleep at ungodly hours and be normal like all other Londoners and stuff but the past few days i've just been getting up at the official SG office work starting hours i.e like 2am? here? and then like lasting till right just before 8 or 9pm at the end of the day, by which i am seriously quite bummed out.

i'm just so paranoid and worried that all the deadlines would not be met-

which i already know they would not be because to a major screwup on the part of the fieldwork/quant agency guy, who is like, always replying emails 1-2 days late, not getting back to us, giving us lousy quality SPSS data files, incomplete tables blah blah. Not that it's his fault, to be fair, because he seems majorly overworked, but still, that's too bad for him. On my part sometimes i'm just really pissed, period. And this time my new line manager just put me 100% on managing everything and doing the reports and stuff and is on holiday now till after CNY! (oh god) which means nobody to fall back on or ask for help if and when things go off course.

oh well, i guess somehow things will just, erm, fall into place.

like chill wenlin, chill.

i think it's funny, how both my line manager and my SG boss are totally the kind of 'you-do-your-stuff-and-make-sure-the-work-gets-done-doesn't-matter-when-and-where-and-how-you-do-it' kind of people, and they're totally cool with me working weird hours from the apartment, and i like it because working from the apartment gives me the freedom of taking breaks, or going out to buy food whenever i want, taking a short nap etc. But on the flip side it's my UK boss here who is like more traditional and prefers if i am physically working from the office, which i have to do so on friday, bummer! Was thinking of pulling an all nighter on thursday right after training, to finish the work, so maybe i could not work on friday, you know, give myself a bit of time off, like sleep in and wake up whenever i want to and then just head out for a stroll or a walk around the markets or covent garden.

merde!

now i'd have to bring my laptop to work (double bummer), have to socialise (it isn't half bad, it wasn't half bad during training, but in huge groups, it's tiring!) have to think about where to eat for lunch/what to bring for lunch/where to go during lunch, have to go for drinking after work/think of an excuse not to go for drinking after work.

it's not quite as bad as when i first came- i can get 95% of what they're saying the first time they say it already, which really makes conversing a whole lot easier- the americians, especially Rob, are getting it real hard; he's always looking blank or saying 'sorry?' when the rest of them Brit-ish are talking. I'm secretly sniggering at his misfortune (so mean, ha, but only because seeing him is like the me when i first came)

oh, random thing, i finally found a beer-like drink i don't dislike- shandy!

well, it's not really beer, (which is why i like it, duh! i hate beer, pfttt.) but it's beer-like enough (to order in a pub), but it still annoys me that my face gets flushed when i drink it, like any kind of beer. it's like annoyingly shameful/embarassing to be red in the face even before you're drunk, like so, unprofessional or something. And people end up totally underestimating you (which might not be a bad thing though). Cocktails or mixes don't show that bad like on my face, but in a pub it's a bit strange to order rum and coke/mojito when everyone's getting lagers all around. That's the small bit of conformist in me trying to fit in, occasionally.

i might get just half a pint today, instead of a full. oh well.

i didn't really bring quite enough quid, so i keep thinking in the back of my head if i should get a cab for 40 quid to the airport on my way back (which i can claim back anyway) or spend about 5 quid taking the tube to heathrow (which i am honestly quite curious what/how the ride on the tube would be like, given my massive interest in any country's public transport)

and on saturday-

greenwich, or portobello market/soho or borough market/covent garden or spitalfields market/bricklane?

urgh sometimes i wish i could split myself into 5 or what?

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you know like how you (okay, maybe me, not you) are usually cold, usually apathetic and somewhat aloof, or like don't really outwardly show all your negative emotions to everyone (who does?)

and/but then there is just someone in your life, who sometimes does some things,

that make you feel the person is special, and that, you just like soften up a little bit inside.

it doesn't mean you love the person,

it doesn't mean you like the person (not romantically anyway)

it doesn't mean you want anything more from the person,

it doesn't mean anything more, it doesn't mean anything less,

but the person is just special (that's all)

and the things that person does just makes you feel warm inside.

it's a special feeling.