very tired, being on the receiving end of people's freaky mood swings-

doesn't help if you live with the person-

(i shall stop here and not elaborate otherwise it would border closely on what they call 'bitching', which i do not like to do)

but you know how some people have this incredible ability of deflecting people's negative energy and just channeling their own positive energy to others?

i am usually not one of them.

like all other normal people, i get pissed off if i make the first move in being nice but people give me their shitty random pmsy mood swings. it really pisses me off even more if it comes out of the blue (then i'm just like WTF? what did i do to deserve this?).

Face it, most people, normal people, get affected by the moods of other people.

and i am just feeling quite a lot of the negative vibes,

and feeling incredulous that i have to bear the brunt of it.

a couple of other things as well-

i've honestly been thinking quite frequently about shifting out and living on my own-

it's not that i am against the traditional asian ideal of the whole big family staying together,

neither do i not want to be filial to my parents, give them allowance, etc, whatever.

on the side of practicalities, it seems ridiculous to rent a place to live when our place is perfectly fine (though i have to share a room with wz which is basically to cramped), and when Singapore is so darn small there is basically no need for it, and also the $500?$600? i potentially give each month for rent should i stay outside would be so much better spent if it went into my parents' pockets.

All these very legitimate and reasonable arguments aside, it's just sometimes i am seriously quite fed up of being treated like a child when i am already an adult. quite an adult, if i must say. In all parents' defense, to parents, their children will always be children, but i really do envy how in western societies there is this form of autonomy and independence that the children have when they become adults (sometimes even before they become adults), and that is what i feel is sorely lacking if i remain in this household any longer.

Also, it is stupid, since 80?% of the adults in Singapore stay with their parents, but i actually find it rather embarrassing that i am one of them?

what, i can't make a living on my own? Can't afford to rent my own place?

Need my mother to do my laundry? need my parents to pick me up at the airport?

god, i am freaking 23 already, i make enough to make ends meet,

could live and survive on my own if i wanted to,

and am and have been an adult for quite some time.

i'm just sick and tired of this hierarchical communal living thing.

my biggest secret fear, really,

is that i will continue living with my parents until i get married,

and if i don't, (like my sister)

does that mean we/i will live like this forever?!!? GOD NO!

need some breathing space.

now i just need some real financial planning to put this into action.

---------------------------

had an okay flight, babies on the plane disrupted my sleep as usual (oh, what's new) but i was mildly amused by how the other 2 passengers on my right didn't make a single trip to the loo on the entire 12 hour flight. Do guys have amazing bladders, or what?

Or maybe they were just to embarrassed to ask me to make way for them to go? hmmm.

Anyway it's sad but i find it true that from the cognitive perspective it's senseless to bring children younger than 4 or 5 years on holiday trips because years on when you're old and flipping through the albums and reminiscing the good ol' times you spent a mini fortune bringing the whole family out on a crazy holiday your kid will just give you a blank face because basically any memory (explicit memories, including semantic and episodic i suppose) before 3 we can't really remember.

i'd save the breakdown in my wallet, save myself the trouble,

and also give the other passengers on the plane some well-deserved sleep.

okay so maybe taking into account the fact that i love kids, perhaps when i'm a parent i'd become so besotted with my wonderful child i would want to bring the cute adorable squealing ball of life everywhere,

but now,

like right now,

(i am) so not bringing my 3 year old on the airplane.