this year,

somebody asked to share his dream and vision with me;
asked me if i have a vision and if my vision was the same as his,

to believe in him and knock on people's doors to share this vision.

of excellence and togetherness.

somebody asked me to let him be my mirror, to see the eusoffian in me,

that excellence may not be the most important thing-

but rather for everyone, together, to be average,

to explore other realms of could-have-been.

looking at all this,

seeing all this,

and then being asked,

'are you on xx's side'?

i plainly said-

'i voted for YY. But doesn't mean that i'm on his side.'

not that i'm on anybody's side actually.

4 years ago as i came to this wonderful/godforsaken place, the same daunting issues, the same dreary situation, the same complaints, the same helplessness; the thing i cannot help being not amused at is how despite people have come and go, my grades have gone up and down,

it's still the same old sportspeople versus culture/arts people issue.

things are still the same.

in the end i feel like voting for nobody,

because a vote really feels like a value judgement-

and so since i feel really nobody is better than anybody else; that both of them are good people, why should i make the choice/decision? why don't people on the other side give themselves a chance to know each other better? why? why just stick safely to someone/something you know/in your comfort zone?

and since this future is not mine to see/experience

why should i vote for it? when it's somebody else's?

it's not even my right-

and then somebody told me today

'he lacks the charisma that vijay has,

my all time favourite'

and then this was all i said in reply;

'nobody has the charisma that vijay has-

not now, not ever,

so stop comparing.'

some people leave a place but they're never really gone-

since people remember them forever?

i don't know if it's a bad thing

or not.

would it make you less of a person if you were not as good as somebody?

sometimes i question.

-----------------------------

see now, i remember you once said,

'i will disappear from your life'

it will never happen,

it will never be possible.

people remember you forever in their hearts.