the possibility of hard rejection, of pure failure, of having your pride squashed , your heart broken, your hopes crushed, your vulnerability being exposed; all this; things like these, because of these;

i do agree/admit that sometimes the fear of defeat/rejection/failure is so overwhelming/scary/undermining, [beyond what you can imagine or control]

but nothing frustrates me more than the lack of courage to try.

in life,

some of us prefer not to be risk-takers.

we are happy with the chances that life presents us,

and we remain content with whatever comes our way.

but there are those are willing to risk the possibility of facing rejection, having their pride squashed, heart broken, hopes crushed, vulnerability exposed.

but/because sometimes [and though i do not know why],

this is the only way

we may [ever] be able to get what/who/where we want.

because

chances are not things that will just pop up and present themselves to you;

money is not something that will just spring from your pocket;

and happiness is not something that will just fall in your lap.

if you haven't asked,

how you do know the answer [for sure] will be no?

if you haven't tried,

how do you know the outcome[for sure] will be bad?

maybe when i look back,

i will laugh at my youthful folly,

and think to myself,

what a crazy fool i was,

for risking my pride like that;

for being vulnerable like that;

but, really, put simply,

[because i can't find a better way to put it in english]

幸福是要自己争取的，人生就是这样。

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what is it about me?

i am neither good-looking nor smart not exciting nor interesting nor popular.

sometimes i really wonder,

what is it about me that people would want to tell me all these things

these things that [perhaps?] they wouldn't want to tell other people

what is it about me that i am thus worthy of your trust?....

what is it about me that

maybe we barely know each other;

to choose to trust me out of all people;

you can tell me these heartbreaking things;

they make me so proud of how brave you are;

how young how naive how silly how cute how loveable;

how can you be like that?

how can you just live like that?

how can you just say [things] like that?

to be able to admit something

[that maybe i would keep to myself until i die]

to be able to live with things

[as if they weren't anything much at all]

sometimes when i see her i think it's like i see myself;

only stronger.

and yet these things only makes me feel [more] helpless;

because despite [knowing] all this

i can't seem to do anything for her or myself.

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'i never knew but all my life i was just hoping/waiting for someone to realise;

for someone to tell me [to stop], and i thought it maybe it could/would be you;

but it wasn't; it wasn't/couldn't/wouldn't be you; and so i carried on-'

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in one of the best lines from one of the kdramas i've watched recently,

the second male lead, speaking of the girl he loves, says to the girl who loves him:

'the best way to love a person who doesn't love [you] back,

is not to love him/her at all.'