circumstances have [once again] shown [me] that it's possible, definitely,

to feel frustrated/resigned/happy/surprised/sad

all at the same time.

it annoys/saddens/angers me;

how easily i can be affected by these things;

[was i not ready, like how i thought before?]

maybe the feeling will last a night,

maybe a couple of hours; over moments in a few days,

[and while i'm still able to] just swallow the reply i wanted to give, the words i wanted to say, the letters i wanted to type, the things i wanted to do; i should and will

but thoughts,

kept just to myself-

i can just leave them be;

because if it's unchangeable,

if i'm unchangeable,

there's no point asking why; no point resisting things

[i don't even know why i bother anymore]

because it's just beyond my realm of control.

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