i like that she didnt mind my suggesting we watch a kids-movie-made-for-adults [it's really too difficult for kids to understand- ronald dahl is really so clever/witty; the dialogue was excellent/superb]; i like it that we sat for two? hours at a cafe and talked about the songs we sang; the people we couldn't [and could] remember; the difficult but memorable times, and our bygone youth; i liked her smile when i said we're too old for school but too young for marriage;

i like that things/people have changed;

and though she, too, like all things/people, has changed-

but ]at the same time] to me she still feels the same.

somehow it felt the same; the feeling was the same; it came back-

it was like we were wearing those same grey uniforms again;

i was next to her, standing right next to her all the while-

i wanted to help her, to hold her; tell her it's alright-

to share her burden be her support send her home

sometimes i just wish that she could be happy

it's a simple wish but fulfill it i couldn't

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it's rather cold-blooded and tragic but i think evolutionary psychology has a very concise and logical way of approaching/explaining parent-child conflict and sibling rivalry.

as we grow older our inclusive fitness/value increases,

and as they age their inclusive fitness/value decreases,

thus as child grow they become more valuable to their parents,

while as parents age they become less valuable to their children

[or more of a burden, if you see it that way]

because each child contributes equally to the parent's inclusive fitness [50%],

parents will tend to allocate resources equally and encourage children to help each other

but because each child 100% genes with himself but only 50% with his brother,

each child will be motivated to want all of his parent's resources but not share.

theories explain behaviour,

they neither lend support or refute it;

they make no claim or value judgement

filial piety, family values; social constructs aside-

logically speaking these things all seem to make sense,

but is it ever right to behave in this manner?

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you can say it doesn't matter;

what other people say/think/act shouldn't/doesn't matter-

but that's just plain bull.

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i asked D what she plans to do after graduation, and whether she plans to get a job related to her field of study, and her answer made me full of envy:

'i'll travel around and work in a place until i get enough money and then i'll travel to the next place and work there, till i get enough money, and then i'll travel again.'

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sometimes circumstances force you into things

growing up faster than you're ready to,

dealing with things not meant for you,

and then before you know it,

you've become someone else.

sometimes things get so horrible [maybe not now]

but no matter where you go

it just feels like you're running away from one problem to another

and there's just no place to go

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selfish as it seems,

sometimes, it is with a tinge of sadness

that i think of/worry about the future;

because these days i am starting to realise

the problems i am to deal with are ours;

not just mine alone.