it's a funny thing, really.

halfway while i was squirming/cringing/laughing my head out next to mahonseng in the cinema, watching diane kruger with her fantastic german accent and brad pitt with his really-irksome american one, i received an sms from weiling asking me if i was still alive and if i was hanging on,

because last weekend, i told i [was so sad] felt like [i was] dying.

it's a funny thing.

human beings.

it's sad how you can't be very sad forever.

yes, there are moments, you can't control

when the emptiness seeps into these spaces,

when you start thinking about things you shouldn't

when you start missing people you really shouldn't at all,

but generally,

you realise, you rationalise,

you accept fate/the truth/the reality of things.

however your pride has been thrown away, with however less worth you have left,

you continue living on, with that little bit of hope and pride, wishing/anticipating/still hoping

that tomorrow,

that next time,

it will be better,

things will be better.

it's a good thing i guess.

but it's sad not to be able to be sad for forever.

-----------------------------------------------------------

i think i shocked the guts out of mahonseng when he smsed me to ask what time and where to watch the movie and i replied,

'oh, anywhere is good. im free now,

just made a police report. can meet you anywhere.'

all i can say is that today was the first time i went to a police station and i was really kind of okay with the whole experience except that the officer really took super long to take my statement.

it was kind of funny how little knowledge he has about online shopping and sprees and the whole process and stuff, and kept apologising for his lack of it. but he was really sincere and kind of helpful about it, and what touched me most was that he took me/our case really seriously.

but that i am really disappointed with how low mankind can be

and how horrible and irresponsible some people can be,

and also even now, even today i am still thinking

countless times we've given her chances,

countless times she's promised all of us,

to refund us and/or send out the items,

but time and time again she has...

just lied.

just used it,

as a tactic, to delay,

to delay for time.

and i only finally got some bit of my money refunded from her only after spam calling her constantly like nonstop over a few days.

how can a person have no conscience no regret?????

zero remorse, NONE AT ALL!...............

sigh :(

for all the people she has cheated, for all the money she has cheated them [myself included] of?

and i'm also disappointed that many of the girls are not reporting this scammer because they're afraid if they report her they can't get their money back [since the police cant assure us that we will get our money back, even if the person gets jailed/punished or what]....

yeah, money is important,

but isn't it more important to make sure a dangerous chainliar and scammer like her is punished and put behind bars to prevent more innocent people from getting scammed?....

and it's also funny how i indirectly became the spokesperson/helpline for some of these girls when i started to mass email all the victims to source for more information about the scammer, to offer each other help and to rally to report the scammer.

'help me please! i have 1000 dollars worth of sprees with her! :('

'what should i do? she doesn't reply the emails at all!'

'can you help me threaten her pls? wtf, she isn't replying at all!!!'

............

...........

i get new girls emailing me asking for help everyday, and i can't help but feel helpless about it....

all i hope is that

there is justice in the world.

even if i don't get my money back

[money can be earned,

but not the trust that she betrayed]

it'll be good enough to see her jailed and punished for her offences.

it's sad that i have to change my perception of mankind cause of her.