nobody's reading this now [i'm guessing?] since i said i wouldn't blog here before.

but a blog is like a hand, a bone, a leg, an eye; some part of me that i can't really ever bear to abandon or ignore or throw away. so i guess im kind of cheating by blogging here again, but stopping blogging here for a significant period has some meaning for me.

i'll be leaving sg today. 

i'm a little sad i'm missing museum week this weekend with miao and wei, but what better time?

i've been really wanting to go somewhere, but i guess it's always been a lie that my parent's have been the one restricting my movement? i guess if i really wanted to go nobody could have stopped me, or maybe that i was not brave enough to go somewhere, maybe a foreign place, alone. and of course there's the safety issue, which my dad is very anal about, but let's put that aside, since i'm leaving already. i wish i could go somewhere, really, really far, and not come back. for a very long time.

i want to do so much more this holiday,

i want to meet so many people,

i want to go to so many places,

i want to do so many things.

most of all,

i will put my attention and focus back on things in my life [i hope]

i don't want to be happy for a whole day because of an sms, 

or wait in anticipation for a phone call the whole day neither. 

if you just step outside, 

throw away your book, 

stop watching the telly,

you'll see how big and wide the world is,

and how small and insignificant i am,

and how so many things, there should be so many other things that i should be thinking about.

the time is not right,

but the time is mine,

and 

i will make it alive. 

but for now, 

insomnia again.

Taking a nap all day long
There's nobody disturbs me
but i can't feel free
There's no hope
There's no despair
only the anger reminded into my heart
There's no chance
and there's no clue
You're gone so faraway
I`m hiding myself from you
I hate myself who can't stop loving you
I feel so stupid
because i'm still in love with you
Fall over precipitate but there's
no one can rescue me
My heart has broken two pieces
seems i can't love you anymore
It's hard for me to go on my life without you
I'm suffering from insomnia
I'm dying day and day

oh why, oh why, oh why....