i've been thinking a lot.


about where to go, what to do.
as i look back, as if accidentally, just casually,

realisation suddenly hits me like on the face,
worse than waking up looking like shit,
worse than oversleeping and missing exams,
worse than being rejected by someone i like,
worse than not being able to eat my breakfast,

it suddenly hit me that in less than 2 years time i will be leaving this hall, this school, this campus.

what should i do?
where should i go?
what do i want to do?
where do i want to go?

now it vaguely reminded me of the time my father looked worriedly at me,
and my bleak and somewhat-murky-looking future.

monash has a pretty good post-graduate programme i heard.
murdoch as well.
but it never occured to me that i'd be leaving this place.
that i might need to learn driving because i might be working/living/studying in a place than doesn't have public buses of an average frequency of 15 minutes, mrts that arrive in less than 5 minutes, taxis all over the place, and reasonable walking distances between city areas.


i think i should go overseas.
i dont think i ll be able to qualify for the masters programme here.
and i feel like i should;

like it's time to leave my comfort zone,
leave these people; leave this place; leave these memories,
take the big step, take the risk,

and live in a new place.



looks like i should start saving from now.
and oh,
i should probably start thinking about learning how to drive.

sigh.