it's been hard adapting to school, and the timetable, and not having money in my wallet and bank account.

but im slowly beginning to get used to the feeling of being poor.
i get where vijay is coming from. i'm feeling so ashamed i don't really think i could ask for money from my mother anymore. the only thing i can manage is an extremely grateful and guilty look the moment she stuffs cash into my hands right before i announce that the weekend is over and i have to go back to hall.

'is it enough?'
'sure or not?'



im determined that this weekend when i leave, there must not be tears on my face.
i will be tactful, careful, caring.
and i will not mention anything about chingay to my father.

the time is not ripe.
i cannot imagine his disappointment/frustration when the time comes and i have the break the news to him.



somehow things always turn out different from the way you imagine them.
like you know how you look at a menu, decide to get something,
and when it comes, you really just think to yourself,

why the hell did i get this?

and you look over and see the dish your friend ordered,
and you think,


damn.
-------------------------------------------------

if anything, the highlight of the week must have been my first return to kendo training, after n weeks of absence, where n ----------> a very guilt-laden large integer, and, also, not forgetting to mention,

krispy kreme.

i've heard legends of how fluffy and moist it still remains after a 14 hour flight.
of how queues are so long and scary they'd intimidate people but it's worth the wait
of how hoards of people flock to the stores to take pictures of the store.
of how people have sworn off any other kind of donut because kk is simply the best.



i really really really really appreciate it.
and im really really glad i did not miss it for the second time.
how you went out of your way to get them for me :)
and how much you know i heart donuts!
7, going on 8 years of friendship;

the silly times, when we would mess and fool around,
when we shouted and yelled and danced and laughed like we were the only ones in the world;
when we were young, idealistic, cheerful, brimming with hope, with dreams, with ideals;
when we would quarrel, when we would disagree, but things would always turn out alright;
when we grew older, busier, sometimes neglected each other, but knew we were never far, never off each others' minds.

for that reason,
i'm grateful,
for going to that school, for wearing that school uniform, for standing in the courtyard, apprehensive, unsure, shy, excited,
for you, turning around, smiling at me, eyes shining through your black rimmed glasses,
hand offered,

i will always remember what you said,
'hi, my name is hui chiang. what is yours?'



i know i queued 2 hours plus the first time i tried donut factory.
and i got you a dozen last time. and you don't really dig donuts that much.

but you know how much i fancy them.
and you know what?




krispy kreme really is the best. nothing comes close.

it's funny how a mound of dough can make me happy.
even if, just for a while.

thank you, friend.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

i love it how there's always something nice to eat when im home.
how my bed is always nice and soft.
how my sister is always ready to be annoyed.


i'm glad i'm back.

it's been a while.