this is bad.

i'm starting to think i will miss this.
i feel this dreaded churning feeling coming from the pit of my stomach.
it is something i have not experienced for quite some time, not ever after rag.
this substance, it's essence, i believe, is what people call
'longing'

i will miss seeing wayne tekan mrs ng huey fen about her STM only being able to store 6 letters, which happen to be H U A N J I N. i will miss seeing yvonne and giving her 'the eyebrow'. i will miss seeing annabella look blur for a moment when wayne purposely gives her a 'stun' question. i will miss talking to raymond, for just a little while, while we're painting, because it's the only time he seems sensible. i will miss chia ling's unbelievable, what the f*** expression when something cocks up with the design. i will miss screwing screws from under the table with esther, edmund and kaihan. i will miss van coming after her ihg training and apologising profusely and brightening up the dull atmosphere with her blubbly-ness. i will miss kaihui's laughter and the way she says 'THIS IS NOT ORANGE YELLOW LOH!' when the colour han cheng wants, and says is supposedly cream yellow turns awry. i will miss the way madeline laughs quietly at the side when all of us are making a racket. i will miss the long face edmund has when wayne says, 'edmund come, i have something easy for you! ' his random attempts at lame jokes. dang, i ll ever miss the eerie way joshua looms over me sometimes when he just quietly looks at me sawing or painting.

shit.

it's deja vu all over again.
im enjoying it so much, at this very point in time,
it's almost so good i'd not mind joining this again.


dang,
come back to earth, wenlin.