im sitting here at wardrobe using shazzy's laptop typing a mundane blog entry when i should be hard at work drawing and brainstorming costumes. heh.

im pretty happy, but sad at the same time.


i hate that kind of feeling, because honestly it sucks. its the short-lived epheremal [hope i spelled it correctly and i just realised its 'spelled' not spelt' ] happiness followed shortly by long-dwelling misery. its not that bad of course, its more like a sinking heavy feeling that accompanies each day. bah.

J came the other day to pass me some stuff from taiwan, and we only talked a bit while he waited for the bus but im feeling glad he came but sad i kind of made him miss the last 151 but he said it was fine and he took 189 instead. he's the first person who didnt look much at my botak head while talking to me the first time he saw it. not shocked meh. heh.

i'm wondering if my hair will be long enough for me to look feminine when school starts. i think not.

im just feeling miffed that i missed the module preference exercise chibai sorry esther i said the 700 word really miffed its like sem 1 again i got outbidded for all my mods and was landed with a grand total of 0 modules at the end of round 2A. cheebai. now its like, 9pm and i just realised the exercise ended at 4pm.




mr m. visited today. he was as stunned as i am. its like, i think he couldnt recognise me with my botak head and my cui state, and i couldnt recognise him, all glowing, perfect complexion, easy-going, good looking and all. its funny, cause i never felt he was, but perhaps absence makes the heart grow fonder. and i miss bob. its a little sad, because i just realised, once again, for the nth time where n---> infinity, that i wont be able to walk to a1, pick up the key from that smelly shoe, open the door and sit inside the room that smells of cigarettes, cat fur, lit texts, and messy clothes. it wont be the same again...

im just missing the sets times.

and i laughed, at the disdain in mr m's voice when he said its sad cause my hair is a turn-on and now its gone. ha-ha. the things people say about my hair. and now, when its gone [well, most of it ] the things they say again. and weird, cause it looks hard now, but its actually really soft. maybe thats why vijay has a penchant for suddenly attacking me from the back and then rubbing my astroturf like im his pet dog or something.

i miss bob.


its funny because for the past few day[s] i've been forced to lie/sit under the bamboo thing while rui song was above me, inside the igloo-like mache. anything for rag really.



im wondering how i will last through semester 1 of my second year as a eusoffian without mr m at A1, and without J at C1, and without jia wei at kendo.

when you start to lose motivations in life,
how do you go on?

when the people start leaving,
these things start losing their meaning.

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when will boss give me a day off so i can visit mr m.?


ah, se is here =( means more work for me to do, more twitch-smiles for me to produce, and lame jokes for me to tolerate. but im not disliking being in his group. just a little miffed sometimes. he is a good se and leader nevertheless.

hopefully tmr i can visit mr m.