some people cannot understand why a person of my background would give up the comfort of practising in an air conditioned place [for a large part of thoses years] and take up a sport in which so called yelling[thats what you think, but. -_-] and n number of foot injuries [where n is an integer ------> infinity] and muscle aches and pains are just part and parcel of being involved.

honestly,
after 3 years of chinese dance, and calligraphy;
and 6 years of choir following that,

why the heck did i take up kendo?

because its cool?
maybe that was the initial mentality.
thats precisely what drew the mob to the first practice.
but look at our batch now. how many of those who came to the 'virgin' practice have stayed on and went on to learn new techniques, buy gi and hakama, as well as borrow or buy a bogu?
less than half.

cool-ness cannot survive even a few weeks of practice.
i dislike the comments people give when i tell them im in kendo:

oh, i wanted to do that; but its too expensive.
oh, thats so cool, i want to do that too.

honestly if you couldnt commit yourself to buying even just the basic gi and hakama, dont even talk about ever wanting or having WANTED to do kendo. because you simply dont deserve to.

putting aside the hefty price tag for a moment,
could you really perserve in kendo?
are you sure you could have withstood the tough training in the dojo?
in the end, its just an excuse.



i was really tired out during practice today.
i swore my foot was going to give way anytime during the practice;
all those new movements i couldnt follow and was struggling to remember;
the old fundamental ones; ki-ken-tai-ichi, fumi-komi i couldnt even execute;

at one time during the second practice, during motodachi practice, on the small kote
i felt tears welling up in my eyes.
i felt so silly and useless.

its really depressing to have the feeling of not being able to catch on something while everyone else seems to be progressing smoothly or have no major problem.
i dont want to be the weak link, or the reason why everything slows down.

i want to be strong.

im so glad i came to this camp.
because what i ve learnt from 10 mins of this camp alone, is more valuable from the accumulated mini practices i had on my own at home doing hayasuburi and shomenuchi.

focus, perseverance, and determination.
and motivation.



what i really like about kendo, i realised, is that
as long as you re willing to learn with a true heart, you will be taken in.
if you re willing and determined to work hard and long, you will progress.
a good evidence to prove this is that all the 7th dan and 8th dan senseis are really old.
its not funny, but seniority counts.
and they may be old or even have pot bellies,
but their one blow can just knock your shinai off your hand.
which is impressive.

because its those accumulated years of hard work, practice, learning from THEIR senseis that enable them to attain their level of strength and ability. and thats definitely something inspiring.

what damian sensei said about kendo being a marathorn initially i could not comprehend.
during the tournament, everything can end within a minute;
what was he referring to?

at the end of practice,
i saw everyone tired, some looking pale, some looking dispirited
i wasnt in such a good state myself.
the pain on the bottom of my left foot was piercing; it left me limping off the dojo
but i saw some of the seniors feet

and i was....
speechless.

and i felt small.
and useless.
and silly.
because in the end, its all about not giving in.

some of these seniors have gone through such practices [or worse] for 4 or more years;
where will i be in 4-5 years?
will i still be standing in the dojo?
heck the grading
will i even still be practising kendo?

if i feared pain and discomfort, why did i join this in the first place?
this is not i want to be;
i want to become strong.
i want to be becoming of my gi and hakama; i want to look strong in my bogu
i want to be able to have beautiful and strong kendo.

i dont want to give up.
im so glad i did not drop out of practice today. =)


strong, upright, beautiful.
that is what kendo should be.
and as a kendo ka, there should be no thought of giving up
not even the slightest notion.






this feels like a self-motivation post.
well, its embarrassing but sidetracking, if im feeling dispirited and nobody's there to encourage me, i ll go to a corner and say very quietly to myself so no one notices:

jia you wenlin! jia you jia you jia you!

and it works. =D




another minor point.
decided to name my bogu 'ta-ke', and my shinai 'ri-n'
i will make sure i am becoming of ta-ke, and not let rin down. *big smile*


more photos later!