light and fair. it always seems bright and cheery when i talk to him. its a nice feeling. but im brooding anyway. about things in life. about other people. about decisions. about letting go. its complicated. really.


sometimes i cant read other people very well. i used to pride myself on that but now...
its hard when the person is more moody and melacholic than you. like some enigma.


had a very interesting talk with some guy from wlny. have not talked to someone about issues concerning such thought provoking things since my last talk with bingxi. but bingxi = pure intelligence and brilliance + god knows what else. this guy smooth talks. but i effectively cancel out the smoothtalking parts and my brain is truly delighted.


other issues aside, these few days have been rather eventful. yesterday i was so happy i was smiling in my sleep.


life has many choices. i hate it when people dont make it clear which choice they want. same with myself.
i used to think i know what i want, but sometimes i find myself shaken. its a weird feeling
like finding myself alloveragain.


gf said i seemed better this year. more comfortable with myself.
last year i was finding myself.
im really not sure. cos... i seem to need to find myself very very often.


i want to see that piece of colour in the sky. but its too bright, i cant see it.
i like the suns warmth and happiness
but i like the rain pouring on my face


i ve been trying to teach myself russian. spaseeba means thankyou. :)
sigh.



i wish i could have things all over again. maybe i d do things correctly this time. so at least things wont be left hanging in the middle. at least it d be at scratch, or the end.


i wonder how i look like to others. how i am. how i feel.
its paranomal. i havent thought so much in a while. usually when i think, its bad. think too much = brood
well. theres work tomorrow. i can look forward to that. and going out with weiling darell, then jia yong and joyce. fully packed!
need to buy wei lings present. dammit. and new shoes. my nice shiny green ones are spoiling... where to get another nice pair? i think i ll get exactly the same


im colour coded.
sigh.
long enough, i think. ok. shall stop here.