okay, for some weird uncomprehensible reason, blogger is screwed again. cant see my webby thru my browser. anyway, update time, ya ya i know.

today is midautumn festival, what a wonderful day.
anyway, im gorging on mooncakes as usual, then drinking tons of green tea so that my guilt will hopefully be washed away along with all that oil and fat. i hope.

nothing much happened lately, studying, then theres the sudden outburst of laziness, then its back to mugging again. bad ennough that i have to be stressed out, now people who are super muggers come up to me and complain and rant on about how unprepared they are for the examinations, 'oh no, IM PANICKING!!!' bloody bastard bimbo, except that shes too smart to be one. oh well, stop the flaming, its not good for me right.

theres the sudden epidemic of gluttony, when i suddenly feel like indulging in all the chocs i brought back from germany(whatevers left, actually a lot, under the watchful eye of my mom, haha.)

well, ponned my first pe lesson yesterday cos fann wanted someone to go and mug with her at the library and she asked me to accompany her. i guess shes the type of girl who really cant do without friends, i think anyway. like just one day ruixia absent, den suddenly ask me... sometimes i get the feeling that im being treated like some spare tyre, like the chinese in australia, second class citizens... but, oh well, i just shrug it off. after all friends are friends right, theres not really some form of orderly classification or whatever... actually have la. but i bor chup.

i guess what really pisses me off about fan is that she doesnt treasure people arnd her that much, getting angry over small things, and worse still, not even bothering to tell the person shes angry with what the hell went wrong. and people like me and youzhi and rx sometimes try so hard to find out and try to please her and not to provoke her again. haiz.

she said she was angry with me for some period of time cos i tend to like say hi to darell in the middle of our cobnversation then talk to darell for a while before continuing our conversation. kinda shocked me a bit there. i was wondering what unforgivable crime i committed that made her give me the cold shoulder for no less than two months... and so that was it.

i guess im just not good at this kind of things, human relations and stuff. like i hate it when i see two different group of my friends at the same time or like when im with one friend from my sec school i see my other friend from class or sth. i never know what to do, and no matter what, one person will get neglected.

i guess in this way, ruixia is much more skilled in handling such matters. she will always put fan as number one and always like please her and give in to her even if sometimes, occasionally, her demands are unreasonable.

i always hated having two best friends. really really hated it. you know, since primary school, i ve been stuck in this sort of triangle and i always feel left out. somewhat, anyway.
threes no a good number, cos like when sth happens and you need to be in pairs, someone will always be left out, and that person happened to be me, haha.
even secondary school was rather the same. weiling was tied btwn me and darell cos she was like a negative charge and we were two stubborn electrophiles who refused to let go. haha. too much of chem. i guess me and darell really are alike in character but thats why we coundlt really get along cos we refused to give in. rather like me and fan, cos i would never give in to her, if she wanted some unreasonable demand. in some ways, best friends must be compatible and opposite in character.

luckily i found someone who was willing to give in to be, to be my electron(haha that sounds sick.)
and i no need to say who la, you all know i guess. but when i stone and ponder silently on some boring saturday afternoons, i realise its really true. its just that i ve never realised the suagnificance of it before.

oh yeah, i ve started my staple diet ofn yong tao foo. really quite fun. but not very fair, the auntie gives fan free tao3 gay2, and i have to pay for mine, though mine in larger amounts... still... haiz. i have to face up to reality, life is just not fair sometimes, and i cant be tall slender and pretty like fan. so i ll have to enjoy being myself.haw haw.

and a word of caution to all you girls out there: if you think that going on a chewy bar diet will make you slimmer, think twice! its low in fat, but EXTREMELY HIGH in SUGAR. haw haw. watch out. maybe if you eat that yucky tasteless stuff my mom used to buy, heh, WEETBIX, i think, yeah, maybe that ll work.

im gonna enijoy myself thoughly after the promos.

ps, i ponned three lessons today! scary right? they say the first time is always the hardest, but haw haw look at me...

Hi there. Seems like I havent updated for ages since god knows when(actually he doesnt. Which god would bother going through browsers and browsers full of peoples blogs in which people just write a bundle of crap inside. BAH.) but not really, I think I updated like, erm like, erm, quite not so long ago right? Problem is I cant remember when haha.

Okay going around in circles there. Funny. Anyway, how was your week? Mine was rather lazily spent, as though time for me, was in huge abundance and like I had ample amounts of everything and anything to spend( time, food, money, friendship, family, what have you) and I realize that this week of holidays has been rather uneventful and relatively unfruitful. Quite sad, but the unfruitful trash can is where most of my holidays end up in. im sure its the same for most people. Is it?

Oh well. Shall switch to my auntie alter ego (in case you dont I have multiple personalities haha.) went to giant at that huge kind of deserted but nice and quiet turf city yesterday with my family minus my elder sis.
The place reminds me of some old deserted shopping centre that the government is trying desperately to restore back to its former glory, which was never existent. Haha. Okay.
And also, speaking of turf haha it also reminds me mildly of heng because of the astro turf on his head haha. Bloody rafflesian. But a good guy la, haha you zhi must be damn sad hes no longer with us. Well.

What about my auntie alter ego? Oh yes, I was damn happy to see the huge yellow tag which read, ON OFFER stuck to the place under which the chewy grandola bars were placed inside giant supermart. Man, was I happy. Like, sixty cents cheaper! Haha(okay, let me make a big deal out of it)
I would be even more happy if I could buy it at cold storage at 65 cents cheaper, but the offer is no longer on haha. Sad. I should have stocked up like, 10 boxes of something haha. Okay, hmm ten boxes of chewy bars on my desk? Not exacting a very pleasing sight.

Enough said. Im back to my normal self. Sometimes I feel kinda sick of myself, buying something only cos its on offer or what, but I guess I do that cos these small cents really do matter and the stuff that I choose to buy only when they are on offer are like, luxury items, to me at least. Unlimited wants, finite needs? Chapter one, the central problem of economics. Haha. Which reminds me, I havent started revising chemistry yet. Not even chapter one. Better start soon.

I like the turf city cos its so quiet there and the situation there is pretty much very peaceful and not squeezy and stuff. And the people there are like lazy, slow, laid back and stuff. Kinda reminds me of those not so popular shopping centres in Malaysia? You know. Hmmm.
Walked into a cd shop and to my huge surprise, I saw anson hu yan bins new album on the rack. Oh man, I was like, how come I totally missed it out!!!! Cannot beeee haha.
And the horror. Haha. I guess he musta have released it in mainland so there wasnt much advertising done in Taiwan and hong kong and other places. Hes a shanghai singer, in case you dont know, and im a pretty big fan of his music.

Didnt buy the album, dont know why. There was just this nagging thought at the back of my head telling me not to. Even though I had enough money to buy it, for once.

Luxury item? Do away with it. I wouldnt want to add on to the problem of scarcity haha.
Anyway, on a more somber economics note, that place, turf city, is pretty much lots of small stores from different industries with very little market power each. Pretty much a pc market minus the basic assumptions of homogenous products and perfect knowledge. There is freedom of entry and exit, so many empty stalls up for rent haha. (perfect competition. If u dont understand what im saying you better go revise your econs chapter five and six especially haha.)

Thinking back. Before yesterday, on Saturday, went to marine parade library(one of my dad s mad but extremely brilliant ideas again) managed to borrow a nice book. I nearly cried near the end, it was so sad. Haha the story was mainly about a girl and a guy and eating steamboat haw haw. Food is my greatest one love.
Then we went to eat ice kacang(ya ya ya ya hahaha) and walked around the shopping centre a while.
Back to my auntie self. Heh, U2 had some renovation sale, so all the stuff there was going at five bucks. Man, this kind of sale is the type you wait one whole year for and then it never really comes. Haha. Lucky lucky. But didnt buy a lot of stuff la, shopping for clothes is not really me, even if the clothes are darn cheap.


[part two] stop reading form here onwards if you seriously lack patience and don’t want to listen to the rantings of a person who is on her way to going mad. Lolx.

Scattered thoughts here and there.
Hmm dee dum. The theme for the rest of my nonsense will be graduation night.
How was your graduation night? Is it coming, or has it passed? Your secondary school or your jc prom?
Proms gives me some feeling of gowns, tuxedos, good food, classy places blah blah.
But that’s not really im thinking about. I guess now that the year twos are leaving so soon, this would be more close to their hearts. Kinda of sad to see them go. Oh well

I remember fan told me that no matter what, she swears that she will wear high heels to our grad night. And I was like, HUH, okay. Yeah, good, whats the big deal? And she scoffed, you think its so easy for me to find a guy who can stand next to me even when im not in heels and not look short? Especially when it comes to nj guys.
And I was like, hmm, quite true, fan is like, 171cm tall? And the nj guys are erm. Haha. Okay. Can always ask you zhi if there is no better choice. Haha he may not look very handsome but the height advantage will always be there, fan. Haha. Thomas is not a bad choice too, considering heightwise ONLY haha but hes taken lolx.

Funny thoughts about grad night
I remember during my sec four sept holidays I was talking to qiu han on the phone and she was telling me about her tuition friend complaining to her about grad night. And I was like, huh, what to complain. And she was like, my fren is from catholic high(miao miao high! Haha wonder hows weilings brother.hmmm) and his school tried to ask st nicks if they wanted to hold their grad night together since they are bro sis school. And of course, they were turned down quite flatly haha.
I was like, huh, okay, but whats the big deal about not having girls around?
And I realized its quite sad for guys who come from all boys school cos you can imagine how pathetic they look in their tux in the hotel ballroom without girls in gowns next to them. I mean, a room full of girls in gowns is fine, but a roomful of guys in tux? Lolx.

And if girls dance with each other, it ll just seem like they re having fun. If GUYS dance with each other haw haw haw. Lolx. Poor guys.

On my grad night, haha and darells and weilings and qiu hans and hui chiangs and qiu pings there was like this humongous bunch of beauties inside the school hall.
Oh yeap, it was held in the school hall. Haha. Like so many people were utterly disappointed, but we didnt expect much anyway, since there wasnt supposed to BE a grad night in the first place and we only got it by filling up numerous suggestion forms and slotting them into the suggestion box. I still remember miss leongs face when she said, so many suggestions for a graduation night haha. Hmm I remember I suggested a graffiti wall haha so the graduating batches of cedarians could spray some graffiti or sign their names on it for rememberance. NOT APPORVED,quite obviously haha.

Lots of people spent huge amounts of money and time to make sure they looked glamorous, or at least as glamorous as each other. I, clearly, was not one of them. dont get me wrong, I have nothing against these people. In fact, they look really good. Like what they say, people need clothes, Buddha needs a coating of gold(say in Chinese)
And its great they had such a good time. But I felt somehow that they werent dressing up to have a good time but rather to outdo each other. In terms of makeup, hair, looks, whatever. Oh well.

And there were some people who were evidently trying to attract attention. I guess its pretty sad for tem because even if they did manage to succeed, it would be the attention of girls, cos evidently cedar is an all girls school and I guess its pretty sad there were no girls there.

I guess the jc prom will be a different bal game all together. I can imagine it, the lamour, the food(haha) the money, blah blah. Not really my thing. Well, who knows, I may just pass it for some cup noodles and a movie vcd at home. Dont get me wrong, I like to dress up too, look pretty and stuff. But its just not the same for me. I guess grad night is something that marks the end of your school years, and it has more special meaning than just dressing up in nice clothes, doing your hair and nails, and wearing makeup so you can look pretty. Its more of the occasion. I wouldnt even mind if I had to wear my uniform, because it would probably be the last time I wear it.

Thats what I think, for now. Who knows, maybe in the not so long future of next year, I might be swept up in this mad tide of buying gowns, doing my hair and nails, and putting on makeup to look all nice and pretty.
For s very short time in my life, I had always imagined that my grad night would be the night that I dressed up nicely, in a pretty and extremely ladylike manner, and shocked all the people who treated me as a guy for so long, especially ant who always treats me like a guy and teases me. Frmph. Quite fun actually, being treated like a guy. but I just want to prove that I can be pretty and proper if I want to. Im quite good looking actually you know. Haha just that I dont say it doesnt mean I don’t know it. And I can be ladylike and gentle and girlish if I like, thank you.

But im not. A nice thought. But I d rather be myself. Really me. Comfort over looks and ease over please. Lolx.i may just pass the whole thing for a lazy night at home. Who knows, who knows.
Sandals over heels anyday. I still am me, havent changed much.

And I wonder how the pre u sem people are doing. Jeremy and alex having prelims now. Good luck.haha. and I saw ashton chio bu the other day, hmm actually quite some time ago. Then the next day, I saw this guy who was a splitting image of her. I swear it musta been her brother. She said she has a brother who has her moms british look but her dads Chinese eyes. I must have been right, should have asked him haha. But so weird. Lolx.
I must have been like damn weird to him cos I was like staring at him the whole while lolx. Haha. Must remember to ask her next time. And I didnt know she stays further down across the road. Haha.

Long entry. Go rest your eyes after reading. Huge eye sore. Which reminds me, I havent started drawing the nj choir girl yet. Darn. She must be perfect.haw haw. And I hope the guys(guys and girls la lolx) in class like the class tee I designed. I cant wait for it to be printed haw haw. Cool man.
And damn it, its ck s fault, im becoming more and more colour coded, now when I look at stuff I always search for the greens first. Wont go for anything else. Damn. So much for deep down inside, secretly, black being my favourite colour huh. Frmph.

Enjoy whatevers left of your pathetic holiday. Or spent the rest of it trying to finish your unfinished homework, like me, haha.

yay. haw haw, went out yesterday with hui chiang, qiu han, qiu ping, ehz and who else? i rmbr there were four pple...hmmm oh yeah! ME. i forgot me. haha. okay, not funny. whatever la. its my blog so i cant write what i want rite. haha.

hmm,talking to you zhi and suddenly called him bastard for no good reason, haha. lucky that guy has a quite large chest(in chinese) as in he doesnt take things like this to heart, man, i sort of freaked/shocked myself. i always do. never fail to, haha. okay, back to bastards. hmm, the last time i called a guy a bastard was knighty i think, accidentally, i hope he didnt mind, but he that type, aiyah, should be not so petty right. im not good with words...

im pretty much a bastard myself. seriously, i can be so bastardly you d be damn tempted to bash me right in the face like i were any annoying bastardly guy. thank god. i prefer being a bastardly guy to being a bitchy girl. wait, while u try to decipher my nonsense and i explain to you and crude language my thesis. i believe that in guys and girls there is one dark element residing in some murky corner of their mind. for guys, its their bastardly character. for girls, its their bitchy side. wait wait, thats what i think, for most people, there are some guys, who are more bitchy than girls, and some girls, who are more bastardly than guys(probably me haha.:D)

the matter with being bastardly and bitchy, i really prefer the former. bitchy is so, un-me.

okay, enuf of crap, that non sense just popped out of no where.

back to the happy times.
hui chiang called yesterday to ask me out cos she wanted to go out desperately before she switched on her mugging mode for the rest of the week(oh no you dont want to know what happens when she does dat...) so i did. qiu han qiu ping and her were sitting at the place near the escalator near popular when i came out of orchard mrt and i was like, smiling, like oh my gosh so happy, like i havent smiled for such a long time.

before that, in the noon time i went out to lunch with weiling dearie hahas, and she passed me my
dirty green skirt! yay:D btw i bought some green keyring and two green hairbands yesterday too:) shit!im becoming colour coded, wont look at anything but green stuff...

back to dinner and movie with SOUP(lolx thats our clique name of sorts, i came up with it haha, u noe, to make soup u need water(me:D), ingredients(hc), sauces(qiuping) and special stuff (qiu han haha) so thats us, okay lousy name but no one else tot of anything so...) anyway, we trooted to lido to see got what movie to watch haha.
ended up we watched 13 going on 30!!!!! :D YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reminds me of stupid bastard(opps) rambutan who always goes arnd singing ' you are 16 going on 17, i am 17 going on 18...' HAHA. not funny. whatever, anyway, im 17 now, and rambutans 18 liao, i ll have to find a junior next year to sing to... haha. handsome guys in choir? FAT HOPE.
let me continue to gaze at my wonderful piece of art on the notice board....eyecandy!!!
oh, dont worry, i dont go for younger guys haha,at least not now, the tot of old cow eating young grass(in chinese) is just WAY too weird. haha.but eye candy is harmless.

the movie was FABULOUS!!!!
OKAY, i have to admit, like 80 per cent cos its JENNIFER GARNER!!!(>_<>_< finally remembered to bring the chocs from germany for hui chiang and qiu han and qiu ping haha. lolx, hui chiang was so proud to have brought waffers along so we could snack arnd in the movie theatre. lolx. i love jennifer garner!!!!! >_<>

i kinda miss the good old sec school days. so fun, carefree, no bastards(girls school!!) no bitches(i NEVER befren bitches) and so much fun, frenship...

haiz.
den on our way home hui chiang was asking if any of us had suitor or crap, and me and qiu han were shaking our heads off and hui chiang has this look of disbelief on her face den as if realisation dawned upon her she smiled and said, wenlin your character is too scary, haha even if a guy likes you he wont dare to tell you. And how very true. my character very bao4 lie4 lolx. :D tee hee.

the movie was a happy ending. but thats becasue jenna had a second chance. in life, you seldom get second chances, and even if u undo your mistake, things might not turn out the way you want them to be... like even though jenna got to go back to 13 and be nice to matt and be with him it might not mean they would be together for the rest of their lives.... things would still be different, how can things not change? .... a decision you make affects another part of your life and might cause u to make even more decisions in your life resulting in different endings... its like a rather old movie, called Sliding Doors, about a decision made by the protagonist and the two different endings had she chosen different paths to take....

happy endings are my favourite. but i always feel sad even if its a happy ending. afterall, its just a movie, whats makes you think my story will be a happy ending?... you never know...
i felt damn pai seh when i started tearing at one part of the movie when apparently everyone else was engrossed in the movie and apparently not tearing... feels weird but i always cry when no one else does... hahaha. okay, lucky qiu ping and hui chiang didnt see hahaha. too dark.

its wonderful to see jennifer garner smile. she seems so happy. i wonder when will i smile like that.

maybe sometime in the future.

bloody bastard.
im stuck at this stuck-in-the-room-click-arnd-to-find-stuff-to-escape game AGAIN.
last time it was that viridian room, i managed to get out of crimson room, but viridian freaked me out, and now theres blue chamber. bloody darn it.click to check it out, looks like theres 5 items to find but i onlky found four.BOLLOCKS!

bah. at a rollercoaster high now, after talking to qiu han on the fone for arnd 2 hours, everytime i talk to her on the fone, its always like im on a fone marathorn or sth. lolx. anyway i could rant on for hours.

bah, xian la. basically nothing much happened this week, shall refer to my not-so-good memory to review significant happenings in my not-so-interesting life so far....

oh,worth mentioning, i managed to come up with a solution to fix my not-so-good-smelling new jeans. sucks la, it smells of some stinky dye. any bad mannered silver spoon-fed singaporean air con baby would just throw it away or what but no, i am no bad mannered silver spoon-fed air con singaporean baby... i grew up on the fan, and my mom taught me manners and i use plastic spoons, not silver ones. BAH, LAME.whatever, anyway the main point is, i so cleverly tot of using the ever-great-ever-wonderous-smelling SOFTLAND on my jeans haha. very nice smell, and makes my jeans softer too :) seems like that awful dye smell is wearing off. yay.

soon i can officially announce that i have 2, no, not one, but,TWO, pairs of jeans haha. yay.

meeting weiling dearie soon, she so nicely offered to help me buy the very nice dirty green skirt haha :) yay weiling. lolx, im so close to getting a full outfit of dirty green or sai green, as ck calls it. frmph i haf the sports shoes, the tank top, the green skirt(weiling:D) and i have a green/dirty green string choker and a green hairband(light sparkly green) but i can always get a dirty green one.

in fact im thinking of changing my blog to green colour. haha. okay, thats way too much.

anyway, more stuff. heh, fanny seems to be one some sort of healthy bar diet, i mean breakfast bars, not the bar-top-dancing-bar, silly.seems to me like so many girls around me are watching their diet, and fanny and kairu were discussing worriedly abt helena, the dance vp, who seems to be suffering from weight loss problems. if u ask me, shes really too skinny. fanny is a great ideal for slim and willowy, while helena is too skinny. cheryl says helena can run non stop for 1 hour for pe. and shes running in the mornings, after school, during pe... she cant stop losing weight. and shes getting all the compliments from all the guys, saying shes prettier after shes 'silmmed down'.

WTH, shes having some weight loss obsession and its all the guys fault.this would never happen to a foodie like me though haha :D food rocks la. anyway who says fat people can rock? lolx. heh, im fat but i dont need to lose weight, and whatever la, i wear what i like.

but of course looking as slim as fanny is a wonderful tot. but choc seems much better.HAH.

talking on the fone to qiu han about keeping/cutting hair.everytime i cut hair, shes the only one who says, wow, good what, cut hair. people like ma hon seng go like, dont listen to old peoples advice, then chi1 kui1 zai4 yan3 qian2 blah blah, eat loss in front of eyes. >_<>

btw, im a student, not a model doing a fashion show. so whats with having nice long hair and dressing up nicely and crap. not my business, im supposed to go to school to study, not sasshay arnd and show off my nice earings or nice hair or nice whatever.BAH.

oh darn it, ck just solved the damn blue chamber thing and it seems like quite easy. reminds me of the time i was playing the classroom, couldnt get past level 5 and beng hee was like, so easy, i completed it all the way to level ten at one shot :(

makes me one sad man. wait, heh, woman.

qiu han says shes giving away some comics cos she and her bro no more space in her house liao hahaha. lolx, xiao la, they buy ALL the comics from chuangyi publishing and a lot ferom tong li comics loh, where got money and space...

haben been to the world of comics for a long time. hermitted for too long, lost track of whats been published and whats not been published. whatever la.

on a more reflective note, i really realised i look relatively tao when i do not smile.especially when im stoning or dazed or looking away or wat crap, i loook damn tao.man. i look ferocious ever though im like just bored or tired or watever.frmph. it s like some subconscious conditioned reflex(bio, haha, learnt dat last year) or sth, like i put up a fierce front to protect myself and stuff.but i m really just feeling tired or vulnerable at that time. really :( i guess i try too hard not to look vulnerable and end up looking fierce and tao and unfriendly... quite sad. anyway its not sth i can control, right>

todays the last day for the samuel and kevin season end sale. should i get sth? they haf nice dirty green stuff. damn it.