okay, for some weird uncomprehensible reason, blogger is screwed again. cant see my webby thru my browser. anyway, update time, ya ya i know.

today is midautumn festival, what a wonderful day.
anyway, im gorging on mooncakes as usual, then drinking tons of green tea so that my guilt will hopefully be washed away along with all that oil and fat. i hope.

nothing much happened lately, studying, then theres the sudden outburst of laziness, then its back to mugging again. bad ennough that i have to be stressed out, now people who are super muggers come up to me and complain and rant on about how unprepared they are for the examinations, 'oh no, IM PANICKING!!!' bloody bastard bimbo, except that shes too smart to be one. oh well, stop the flaming, its not good for me right.

theres the sudden epidemic of gluttony, when i suddenly feel like indulging in all the chocs i brought back from germany(whatevers left, actually a lot, under the watchful eye of my mom, haha.)

well, ponned my first pe lesson yesterday cos fann wanted someone to go and mug with her at the library and she asked me to accompany her. i guess shes the type of girl who really cant do without friends, i think anyway. like just one day ruixia absent, den suddenly ask me... sometimes i get the feeling that im being treated like some spare tyre, like the chinese in australia, second class citizens... but, oh well, i just shrug it off. after all friends are friends right, theres not really some form of orderly classification or whatever... actually have la. but i bor chup.

i guess what really pisses me off about fan is that she doesnt treasure people arnd her that much, getting angry over small things, and worse still, not even bothering to tell the person shes angry with what the hell went wrong. and people like me and youzhi and rx sometimes try so hard to find out and try to please her and not to provoke her again. haiz.

she said she was angry with me for some period of time cos i tend to like say hi to darell in the middle of our cobnversation then talk to darell for a while before continuing our conversation. kinda shocked me a bit there. i was wondering what unforgivable crime i committed that made her give me the cold shoulder for no less than two months... and so that was it.

i guess im just not good at this kind of things, human relations and stuff. like i hate it when i see two different group of my friends at the same time or like when im with one friend from my sec school i see my other friend from class or sth. i never know what to do, and no matter what, one person will get neglected.

i guess in this way, ruixia is much more skilled in handling such matters. she will always put fan as number one and always like please her and give in to her even if sometimes, occasionally, her demands are unreasonable.

i always hated having two best friends. really really hated it. you know, since primary school, i ve been stuck in this sort of triangle and i always feel left out. somewhat, anyway.
threes no a good number, cos like when sth happens and you need to be in pairs, someone will always be left out, and that person happened to be me, haha.
even secondary school was rather the same. weiling was tied btwn me and darell cos she was like a negative charge and we were two stubborn electrophiles who refused to let go. haha. too much of chem. i guess me and darell really are alike in character but thats why we coundlt really get along cos we refused to give in. rather like me and fan, cos i would never give in to her, if she wanted some unreasonable demand. in some ways, best friends must be compatible and opposite in character.

luckily i found someone who was willing to give in to be, to be my electron(haha that sounds sick.)
and i no need to say who la, you all know i guess. but when i stone and ponder silently on some boring saturday afternoons, i realise its really true. its just that i ve never realised the suagnificance of it before.

oh yeah, i ve started my staple diet ofn yong tao foo. really quite fun. but not very fair, the auntie gives fan free tao3 gay2, and i have to pay for mine, though mine in larger amounts... still... haiz. i have to face up to reality, life is just not fair sometimes, and i cant be tall slender and pretty like fan. so i ll have to enjoy being myself.haw haw.

and a word of caution to all you girls out there: if you think that going on a chewy bar diet will make you slimmer, think twice! its low in fat, but EXTREMELY HIGH in SUGAR. haw haw. watch out. maybe if you eat that yucky tasteless stuff my mom used to buy, heh, WEETBIX, i think, yeah, maybe that ll work.

im gonna enijoy myself thoughly after the promos.

ps, i ponned three lessons today! scary right? they say the first time is always the hardest, but haw haw look at me...