freaky. im croaking now. damn, must be that choc cake that wz coaxed mom into buying. crap. i am the embodiement of what rambutan calls cannot-resist-temptations

i keep looking at myself in the mirror and wondering when my life will have a drastic turn and my left eye lid wont look so lumpy and my pimples (yes, three) will suddenly decide to leave my currentl not so nice face

or maybe im STILL secretly hoping that when i wake up to check up on my dear fishy it will suddenly turn into a really yummy looking prince lying next to the tank. -_- maybe.

lately i ve found out that if i leave my hair alone, it automatically flops to center parting. absolutely disgusting. how ironical that i hate center parting the most. i shall tend to it later. anyway im wondering if this is the late last-min onset of puberty cos i never has these physical problems/disturbances whatever when i was SUPPOSED to be going thru puberty

i ve learnt once again from experience that silence sucks. its the sort of tense atmosphere which you dont know what to say so you just giving up talking altogether cos u re just no good at striking a conversation. in that case, sometimes, i rather walk alone...
but den again, sometimes, its just the feeling of having someone next to you walking alongside with you that gives a nice fuzzy feeling

how can it feel tense and uncomfortable and warm and fuzzy at the same time? im contradicting myself. but sometimes life is not as simple as black and white. theres just always this grey area.
sometimes i get the feeling i dont dare to cross the line cos if i do, the colour might change from grey to white or grey to black... and this change might not have a positive impact on me, so i d rather keep things the way they are, GREY. does that make me a true grey njcian? lol (rmbr the good old times of being a true BLUE cedarian)

maybe its chickening out. but i dare say i dun like taking risks. too... risky. just for a possible chance that things might turn out better, throw in everything and hope thinsg go your way when you might have to forsake what you have now? i should think not...

yesterday the three of us, me my sis and my sis (lol) played some games of cluedo.
did i tel you i always wanted a cluedo box set as a kid?... my sis bought one for OUR xmas prezzie :)
seriously she is the nicest big sis i have ever known... she always... so self sacrificing... and i am so selfish in comparsion...:)

then wz kept winning. i didnt know what was going on half the time cos the first half i was preparing the emcee script and the second half i was wondering who and what to believe and what assumptions to make

before that was a grueling day at j8 and serenies hse doing the invites for the farewell.:) thanks serenie for lending ur hse!!! :) and ck for sticking arnd and making sure i din take the wrong colur pencil to use -_- and my 14 dollar (boohoo) new colour pencil set in a nice tin can
and i got some cheapo x ams cards with serenie lol. cheapo rocks!! waa haarr har

choir today and i actually find myself hoping that it will be over soon. onset of worry and fret cos im dang jia today. gues dat i must learn to be confident and stuff and dat i can manage even without fel sida thom thom and mostly, ash
ash ghee, if u re reading this, dun worry k, i ll do a good job (haha) dun worry when u come bakc thinsg will be fine and wear more clothes in australia u get cold very easily and take care and try to enjoy urself k :)

i just checked my list and i realised got some stuff to do... print out script bla, contact su and money well to ask them to be emcee (hopefully infront of choir and with their recommendations or else they ll say its exclusive) erm complete the invites bla send/give the invites bla, collect consent forms bla, photocopy and give out consent forms bla, take attendance and collect latecomers money bla
erm make sure everything is okay(?) bla

everything will be fine. im sure.