feeling very sad because the nice long post that i woke up early yesterday morning just to do disappeared cos blogger freaked out
and i was so bloody happy yesterday

im so bloody sick and tired today. i better not talk or else nothing will come out later. wonder how i will be able to sing the sop one solo parts if prisc really doesnt come later. den again, even if she comes i have to sing cos need someone to blend her nazel voice and my somewhat airy one is a rather good blending choice

freak. bOLLOCKS. feeing sick and tired.

sometimes i am almost certain that my life is made up of periods of fast sine/cosine curves
unlike ben's mood, which is happy for six months den moody for six months, i am extremely happy for one day, den extremely sad for the next day for sure

in case this entry doesnt get to be published because blogger decided it doesnt like me, i shall try to keep it short. not much to say anyway.

ha ha ha. i dun like the feeling when pple pat my back and say i have done a good job for that day. if i really did a good job, it would show from their faces right? no need to say anything, and i SHOULD do a good job, its my job, and im obliged to anyway. damn hell.
i really really cant do it. cant bring myself to do it.

damn im only human.
i was patting michs back and saying, cough be gone
how i wish
fats be gone, bad throat be gone, sadness be gone, lethagy be gone, jealousy be gone, depression be gone, damn i just want to get away for a while... just a little while den i ll be able to recover and live with it. its life anyway. enough of the ups and downs. i ll stop reading into things. if things go well den good if they dont then good also.

i dont know if i have the energy to put up a smiling face and pretend im enjoying the x mas carols that i am going to sing later. after 7 years of being a performer, the fake but looks-genuine smile comes naturally simply i can imagine my pri school cca teaching nagging into my ear asking for me to smile, if not at least fake it
damn im seriously tired. i wonder if i can pull it off.

it was nice eating with the gang though, and playing games. i suddenly realised i have little knowledge of the places in singapore and of my body parts...

hello heng :) wonder if u re reading this. u re still using crap symbols as ur sign in name -_-
i rmrbed the last time i asked u, u said it was becos the symbols were crap like u T_T best arghhh
havent talk to u for very long. u say u din like the feeling of talking online, so dun talk to u so often le... i dun even talk to youzhirella liao, haha unless ask him stuff like photocopy shop got open not...and same for hui hui...

when was it since my world fell apart? and i picked up the broken pieces and put them in a bag and continued my way... i cant remember. it seems like it was only yesterday...

knighty and rambutan came yesterday. princess also. :) but pet tamer din come, so i styll felt like we were missing someone... knightys head = rambutans head now, so interesting. but rambutan is really tan now, compared to really pale me, ben said if i was snow white (crap of all the fairy tale princesses i used to dislike her the most. so naive. WAIt....damn. crap) den hs would be...coal black.
-_- lol.

whatever.
time is running out as i type, and i can feel the burden of the unfinished holiday homework weighing on my back... next week chiong holiday homework...

hey marissa! :D... lol. carolling got smile or not... must smile or else u look like pple owe u ten bucks or sth hahah :)

goody. prisc says she can come. i hope that medicine round small crap thingy with scorpions on the packaging that xiang ting gave me can miraculously heal my voice... maybe. i ll take ten at one time later. surely can one. already drink pi pa gao now, not so scratchy le... but still cannot talk or else later no voice haha

i take my voice for granted. seriously. usually it recovers so bloody fast, even if i yelled and screamed my voice away at the national track and field champs, without fail the next day it would obediently come back. i think this time it decided to take a holiday. good idea. i should take one too.

if i were dreaming that i could go away... where would i be?