Okay. Hmm about today.Lets start with the much anticipated physics test. BAH>Its like(haha its not like) I really seriously tot I was prepared for it, at least enuf for me to pass or sth, but evidently reality always proves my instincts wrong, especially when it comes to this kind of stuff, studies and such.But I guess its okay right? I mean most of us failedBut that doesnt give me an excuse to fail too right? I studied pretty hard, moderately la, memorized definitions quite well and stuff, but I guess not practicing enuf led to my downfall. All definition and formulas is of no bloody use, shuld practice, just like math.After the test.Went home to slack and rest for a while cos like not very good if I out all day, so I went home. Went online, hardly anyone except like jie wei and xiao mi but I was updating la so didnt chat muchEnded up all the stuff I updated, that I burnt one hour on, was all deleted accidentally(OH YES<>_<> Updated a lot. Mostly about what I dislike other people to call me, I cant stand being called cute and bubbly, esp at this age, I take it as more of an insult than a compliment. Seriously who doesnt want to be pretty instead of CUTE and BUBBLY like the huge bear you have lying on the other end of your bed? Sad lah, sometimes, but I cant change that I guess. Cutting hair tmr, looking forward to it, like with anticipation vs a little trepidation haha wonder what my new sucky hairstyle will be like. BOLLOCKS!Its like a sort of promise, everytime when my hair is getting long and I have to decide to keep or cut, I will always cut. Its like a yue1 ding4 I have with myself.I dont like to keep long hair because I don’t want to be misunderstood, because my reason for possibly keeping long hair is not to make myself look more feminine or pretty or for the person I like or just because im a girl or anything.I just like the idea of long hair, its damn nice. But its not really me. so, bye bye. Theres sth in the new cedar diary at the end, some TEN STEPS TO SUCCESS crap. One line read sth like dont expect sth to change to suit you, you should change yourself to suit it so you wont have such a hard time. Weiling and darell said buying clothes and shoes for me very hard cos I really expect the clothes or shoes to be the embodiment of me, like totally ME, like oozing with my character or sth, but its hard to find stuff like me, haha, you agree?Tried out some green skirt at that whats it called Samuel and Kevin haha yay they took off the yucky F4 posters, a total turnoff. The skirt is nice, but im not used to it I guess.Plus im really broke and I have to buy a new school bag, a proper one, not a sling one, and a new pair of shoes, the hole in my right shoes is getting largerCant stand it sometimes when people like fan and weiling complain to me about how unsightly or fat and ugly their arms and legs are. Pisses me off. You dont see ME complaining about my size, right?>_<> Went for class bbq at tweenys house after that. Haha so funny bready was wearing a shirt that was the same shade of blue as the hung (OH YES, IT IS WHAT YOU THINK, WILLIAM HUNG) shirt he wore last time hahahaStoned around a little while. Saw heng for the first time in like, 5 months? But it was a weird kind of feeling, I didnt feel like he was that damn cocky and full of sh*t guy who was my orientation dance partner and my lab bench partner. He was, someone else. Some guy who was just sitting on the other couch next to me. Plain weird. But you zhi and him hit it off so well, they picked up exactly like where they left off last time. I guess you zhi will never ever find a guy which can talk cock with him and be his toilet buddy so well like Eugene. Their chemistry is like, oozing in huge abundant amounts, haha. And poor bready, like he always get bullied around. I treat my soft toy hippo very well bready, dun worry! :)Fast forward the stoning part. Really quite xian la, took so long to start fire, reminds me of last time 4c class bbq me and weiling dear were like fanning the damn fire like mad, and smearing charcoal on our faces, taking photos pretending to be !kung bushmen haha. Lolx. And I rmbr the fanning carried on till like 3a m in the morning. And when weiling dear wanted to bathe, the tap just came off when she turned it and the water like spurted out like from some huge jet spray or sth. We were drenched. So it was shui3 shen2 huo3 re4 haha. Lolx. Today more slack la, stoned a little, took photos and stuff. Ate a little, watched a lot.I must say, ming feng is one very sensitive guy, bu4 kui1 he is our grand ogl haha as in ogl of our ogls. Its like he seems to see everything la, or is it I have all my emotions written over my face? >_<> It was ten already, so I couldnt stay since I promised mom I d reach home by 11(ming feng was like, WOAH, Cinderella version2, must reach home one hour ealier lolx), and so I just left.I guess the guys over did it. I mean even though fan acts tough and guysih sometimes, its very clearly evident that shes a girl. Maybe you can say she cant take her own jokes or whatever, but its like, shes a girl, sometimes guys should have the discretion to know when to stop. I guess im pretty much used to it already, cos everything get treated like a guy and being asked to be a man(stupid ant), but fan is still a girl, she can tease you zhi and the guys and stuff, but sometings the guys just shuld not do back!Her eyes were all red and watery, and I felt kind of helpless. Its like, I dont know if I should just leave her be, or sit there try to comfort her and talk to her or sth.I rmbr last time heng didnt realy like fan cos he tot she had bad temper and mood swings or sth, but I guess shes really sensitive, and her feelings are really really fragile and so easily hurt. And what does he know? He ll never know how she felt towards gan die. Haiz. All this, and so much crap. I guess im a pretty useless friend, tell me how can I make fan smile? Cos when shes crying it makes me feel sad.I want to hug her and stuff, and be there for her, but I dont want to be turned away , saying that shes not sad and pissed or whatever and just leave her alone :(Can someone tell me where to draw the line?Only a girl will ever know how another girl feels.Does that mean that I am a girl>?