Yummy
Eating muesli bar now >.< feeling so shuang
=P
Heheheh anywaex now shall continue where I left off at the previous entry which I typed when I was in bytes…
Subsequently I went to the choir stall after bytes was closed down for usage by it club members only and I was like wondering if I should go in but I just followed impulse and went in
Lol chin yaw sher steph jia en hs and ck was there along with joyce and sida and hua cheng who was clearing up the messes in the stall>.< lol
Then angela and shaun came to join us

After crapping and stoning a while we left for choir and I started choir on a tired but happy note 

We sounded pretty good today but maybe cos we were in stupid lt 2 again lol
Cheat my feelings >.< anyway I was really feeling quite good cos I could tell that almost everyone was giving their best effort to make things go smoothly so that we would sound and look good
Lol havent practised my expressions for so long
Probably a little stilff
Only when is comes to the happy and sad part I d be expert at it
Ash and qian jing and the seniors said something about going out for dinner and I was really happy buti only had 2 in my pocket
Btw that reminds me that I only spent 50 cent today! Big achievement! I nearly died during gp but when I saved that stupid pandan bao for the last lesson to eat while mr heng was not looking it was well worth the wait
Every single bite
Lol
Anyway these few days been sleeping during break and lunchtime
Haiz getting insufficient sleep xia
Becoming panda liao I meet the size and eye criteria
Lol

But couldn’t go wif them
Aww manz qian jing and ash said sth abt going to eat waffles then other yummy stuff and I was like woah yummy but no money and ck was like I dun mind macs and I was like, MAC? NO WAY haha and I happened to be sitting behind him so he covered up his ears and was like ARGHH I know you dun like macs, lol
-_-

Anyway went for the band concert so couldn’t go eat with them
Went with Thomas and shu and mich and rui xia
All the way they were talking about cheerleading stuff and alto stuff which I was clueless abt so I just kept quiet and looked around for interesting stuff
Thomas probably thought I was trying to be A S but I really wasn’t
I mean I dun even noe so what to say? Just listen loh
He tried to include me in the conversation a few times but he failed pretty miserably but it was ok and it was pretty nice and considerate of him
The altos din find anything weird so they continued talking and I just listened

The taxi ride was the worst
I was like stoning with the driver in the front seat
And they were like talking and talking in the back seat

Just when I was feeling left out and sad and regretting why I had even gone in the first place
I got an sms
From qiu han :D
She said she hadn’t talked to me for ages and missed me and promised to call this weekend
 it really cheered me up ~>.<~

Anyway the concert was pretty good and I like the solo parts in the last piece they played
Pretty well done
Lol and it was worth going and being alone ( not physically) cos I got to see you zhi dance! Lol so funny! Hahaha

And anyway I think I dun make a good band concert audience
I mean I dun really appreciate the music as much as I d like to and I kept looking out for their facial expressions but there were like erm none?
I know its different from choir but im a choir person so I would naturally be a choir audience
=D

Saw bready in his rj uniform >.< looked so muggg
And saw ming feng too haha new hair cut before going bacj to camp
Lol

And we went home
On the mrt ride I was feeling the same sort of feeling as the feeling I felt when I was travelling there
Luckily rui xia was there to talk to me cos Thomas was talking to keefe and mich and hui hui were talking together as usual
Sometimesi think I take rui xia for granted
Maybe too much
Anyway she got off and I stood by myself and stoned
Hui hui smiled at me and asked if I was ok or sth
And I sort of squeezed a smile back at her and mumbled sth back
Haiz

You know what?
I know this sounds childish but I want to be able to smile at you like I really mean it and be angry when I really mean
I dun want to put on a smiley face all the time cos I dun smile at just anyone
If I smile at you it menas you mean something to me and I want to smile at you so ypu know it
I dun like the feeling of having to fake sth
It really wrenches my gut

And how can I put into words my feelings? Well Thomas its not that I dun want to talk to you and the altos its just that I dunno what to say because most of the time they are acting bimbo and being girly and talking abt alto stuff which I really ditto and well I dunno what to say to you also cos everytime you try to start up a conversation I feel like it’s the prelude to a quarrel

Haiz and I just cant click with some pple so I ll just keep quiet

You know what? If u think im quiet then u really dunno me cos those pple who realy do know me will say that I am loud brash and hyper
And I always got so much to say and so much is always running through my mind


About feelings
You know that kind of feeling you get when you feel like you re not happy when someone is smiling at you but also smiling at someone else?
Its like jealousy but in a much gentler and subtle form
And its such a weird foreign feeling
i haven’t felt like this for a long time
this strong feeling to want to possess something or someone so that you can have it/ or that person for your very own
and how much the persons mood will affect your own
its pretty amazing really
and I remember the last time I had this feeling was in secondary school when I though my best friend was about to make someone else her best friend
this sounds stupid but I was pretty sad
but anyway this always come in full circle

I ve learnt to share and my friends have too
About this feeling I cant really tell it really special and its making me look at things twice

Anyway
I may be smiling to 10000000 people
I may be befriending 300000 people

But only some people get my real smiles
The kind that you see me enjoying
The kind that comes naturally from my heart
The kind that really means it
The kind that happens when you see my eyes smiling at you too
Cos I really cant hide this feeling inside



All my special smiles I save them for you
All my warm gazes I save them for you

Hahaz you should know what I mean 

Cos I really mean it
And it makes me happy just to be with you
Even if there is no talk even if there s no jokes
I ll still be smiling
Smiling comes so naturally when I m with you!

Harhaw wonder how was the food at dam centre
Yummy must go next time and yeah going out on Sunday
So im happy!

I hope you are too!

Lolx and I was thinking abt a question, if you could be a flower what would you be?

I d like to be a elegant and white pure classy lily
Id like to be a bright cheery sunflower
I d like to be the most special bird of paradise

But most of all I d like to be a four leaf clover
Cos I hope that even on your worst ost unlucky day
When you find me gently swaying in the wild grass
I will bring good luck and happiness to you






~jus+ LisTen 2 Mik@ AnD lEt's cHilLou+~