Yesterday I returned home in a really serious state of depression and sadness
But shant dwell on what happened yesterday except for the fact that I saw a person I hadn’t seen in a long time
Had it been me in sec 3
I would have been so happy and excited and elated
But im in jc1 now and things have changed so much
All I can saw that I had never wanted to see that person again not after what happened in the past
Now seeing the person brought back sad and happy memories
And foolish ones too
Haha but I can look back and laugh now cos its all behind me
But seeing the person made me really scared and vulnerable and afraid for some reason
And really really sad
It was as though my past had come back to haunt me

But I dealt with it pretty well

Anyway besides the person I also had a pleasant surprise that brightened my day
I saw hui chiang! Miss her so much
She seemed so at ease and so pretty so mature
And so happy
Heard she s doing really well in hc
We talked a while then she walked off to find her friends
Seeing her after so long brought a influx of happy secondary school memories
Qiu ping qiu han me and hui chiang
Hahaz
And I felt like
Just for a while
I felt my nose sort of sniffle a little
I felt the weight of tears in my eyes
As I hugged her it was as if I was hugging a part of myself that had been lost and hidden away for so long
And now it was back

And maybe also because I was feeling down and I needed a hug badly
Did I tell you I love hugs? Lol
It was almost as if she knew exactly when to hug me
But of course she didnt we hadn’t talked in months
But maybe its something call xin1 ling2 gan3 ying4


The ug sort of saved my day

Hahaha lol

Do I come across to you as a fragile person? Cos I really am not
A least I think im not I hope
But its like so many people care about me and yesterday they were like are you ok? And stuff was it so obvious? Haha maybe I have all my emotions written over my face
Scary
Which means I cant hide anything
That means you get hurt more easily

Haiz
Hahaha lol all this serious stuff is weighing me down
But hiding wont solve problems of course
I should face the music as I always tell myself to
Yepps

I d like to say sorry to those who I taoed and avoided yesterday
I really didn’t mean it
I hope I didn’t hurt you cos I sure hurt myself
Anyway thanks to those who stood by and tried to cheer me up
Haha

And sorry if I seemed A S yesterday when I didn’t want to take photos with Thomas and the alts and beng hee and sida
Sorry but I just really didn’t feel like
Cos you gusy all seemed so happy but I wasn’t happy and I hate taking photos when im not happy cos I think the whole point of taking photos in the first place is to take it in the instant when you re happy and smiling so that this happy blissful moment will last forever

I mean u wont be happy forever but the in the photo u will always be happy and xing4 fu2

Haiz what to write now? Oh yeah I was having a talk with beng hee today at bytz
I didn’t know it was called bytz I tot it was bytes all along
Anyway haha we were talking about stuff like maths and how much he liked and loved maths and how much I hated and sucked at it
Hahaha seriously im not a science and maths person
But don’t ask me why im in science stream
Probably because I cant do lit history either
My geog was pretty okay though
Hahahahaa yepps and about studying psychology I think I have to venture overseas
But that will be in the future now I have to study whats necessary to have a firm grip onto my future

Oh yeah Thomas
Who gave you the stupid idea that I like Eugene erm as in better than a friend?
Manz its like the 10000000 I ve repeated myself and you still tease me about it and its getting on my nerves
I like someone else stupid ! but im not telling who…this blog is TOO open..lolx
Besides im too young for anything more than friends I think
yeah
but let me stress that I like Eugene as a good friend and nothing else

why is it that there are always rumours abt me liking other pple?
How come no one ever says that some other people like me? Am I that unlikeable? >.<
Awwwww manz
Haiyoh

On the topic of talking in bytz this afternoon
Well I like dealing with things that cant be seen
But can be felt
Like people
Their character their mindsets their thinking
Their emotions
I want to know more
I want to know what you re thinking
I want to know what you re feeling
So subtle
Sometimes so strong
Its like all around us
Hahaha that why I want to learn psychology

I dun like maths
I don’t see the beauty in the proving of root two is a irrational number
But maybe you re correct beng hee
I d like to know how u think also and why you find maths beautiful and amazing
Its really intriguing


My sis is leaving on a holiday trip to japan today
Haha asked her to get something from the temple there for me
Dun tell you what! Lolx
Anyway the feeling of being taoed is really horrible so I swear that to my best possible ability I will try not to tao others
Sorry ck >.<

I want to go on a holiday too but u know I always feel homesick when im abroad but yearn to travel overseas when im at home? Im full of conflicting and contradicting thoughts and paradoxes

Haha
I go eat liao hungry xia
Btw big achievement today
I spent 0 cents and dollars! Hahahah


~jus+ LisTen 2 Mik@ AnD lEt's cHilLou+~