I awoke this morning to a lovely sunny Sunday
And I was so pleasantly surprised

Ao many unexprected surprises that I had encounter since I joined njc
So many troubles and barriers in my way
But I had passed them all
So far
So good
:p
What more can I ask for?
I hope for more
Something special
But I think im not the right age yet
Im not mature and understanding enough yet
Maybe when the time comes
It will happen

Till then I ll remain the person I am now

Yesterday I was supposed to mug
But I ended up slacking and watching long vacation vcd again
Lol
No matter how many times I watch the show
No matter how how many times I listen to lalalalovesong
Im still madly in love with it
Sena and minami s love is so pure and true
Even if there is no strong passion
There is a gentle subtle happiness that will bless them as long as they are together


Anyway also talked to qiu han yesterday
Talking to her made me a little sad
And VERY HAPPY!
Miss you lots! And I promise to try to go out during the june hols okkie?>.<
Scary man
The sort of power she has
Its like she didn’t even prompt me or anything
And I told her everything
Abt what happened in school in choir at home
My feelings my schoolwork my friends
She just has this ability to make me pour out all my happiness and troubles to her
I wish that
One day
I can be like her too
Cause I wish to be the one you approach when you have something on your mind
Even if its just a small matter

We talked about so many things
And I realised with a shock that we d been on the phone for almost 3hours!
:P hahaz hu carez? Its these times that you really wish the prson was right next to you
Not on the other side of the phone >.<
But I can always drop a visit I guess
She doesn’t stay too far from me
Only that I stay on the outskirts of bishan nearer to toa payoh
And she stays in central bishan !!!!
:D

Everyone is asleep as I am typing
So funn!!! Lol
I rmemeber when I was small
I loved waking up the first during Chinese new year morning
Just so I could walk around the house and eat goodies and wake everyone up first!

I d almost forgotten what it feels like

What abt you?>.<
La lalala la
Opps sorry still listening to la la la love song
Yay going out later! Sho funn!!!
Yepps

Haiz im finding it hard to be in contact with a side of me that is still relatively new to me
My feminine side
Okay dun laugh please ok?>.< not funny
I had this sudden impulse this chinese new year
I went out and brought 3 new skirts
Btu there they are sitting in a corner of my wardrobe collecting dust
>.< I dunno when it’s appropriate to wear them

Cos my mom had been nagging at me saying that I couldn’t dress sloppily like this forever
And even qiu han told me to buy clothes that I could wear in the future
She said you cant go out with your jc friends wearing Bermudas and t shirts
Why not>.<
Even though I ve not worn Bermudas for a long time
Bermudas and sandals are my comfort clothes
Im in relaxed mode when im wearing them
So if I go out with you wearing Bermudas and sandals you should be very honoured
But then again
Shes right
Why is it guys like girls to wear skirts? Do all guys like girlyl girls who wear skirts and girly tops and dangly earrings like the altos? I mean no offence but most of them are indeed like that
Girly altos, as Thomas would put it
Haiz

Sometimes I wish I were a guy
Its really easier co sim so much like one already!
Character wise and the way I treat people and do things
Except maybe most guys are quite as sensitive and thinking as I am
>.<

Is looks really everything? Im thinking about it again
Or maybe its not looks but rather packaging? >.< I really ditto!
Frmph
La la la la la love song
Opps :p
Haha I had a weird dream
Lol dun tell you what happened in the dream!it was a pretty happy dream
Only it cant be real >.<

Haiz

Im being childish
Im being unreasonable
But I wish for more
Cause even though I feel loved by so many
There seems to be a empty part in my life
I cant find the piece to fill it up
And til the time I do
I will remain handicapped
I dun have the ability
Not yet
But I wish
I hope
It will be sometime soon
Maybe I should be contented
Maybe I should be happy
But im not
Have you felt it before?
A gentle subtle loneliness that often visits
And leaves emptiness behind
Even though I have lots of love
Eveb though I have lots of people who care about me
There is something missing
Something I cant quite put my finger on
And I feel it coming
Is it really approaching?
Or maybe it’s a false hope
But I wish
I hope
Its coming to me

You know what its like?
To want to love but yet be so afraid
To want to be strong but yet be so vulnerable and weak
To want to share but fear the pain of losing
To want to give but fear no returns
To want to talk but yet fear to speak
To want to cheer up others but not know what to do
To want to do something but end up doing nothing


Do you know what I mean?



Haha
Must be the song >.<
Im not that sad
Not really anyway >.<

Im riding on a train which will lead me to my destination
It’s a long and tiring journey
And I wish someone will ride with me
Will tha be you?
Anyway even though I know I wont reach my destination anytime soon
I ll still look through the window and gaze at the wonderful beautiful things around me
Even if some of them do not belong to me
Even if they were not meant to be



What about you?


~jus+ LisTen 2 Mik@ AnD lEt's cHilLou+~