Wednesday, 9 March 2011

(like) all things, that would eventually come to pass, wither away, weaken in strength, or simply fade-

like a borrowed book which now has to be returned;
like a firefly at the end of it's life cycle;
like a can of peas that has expired;

one day you love somebody one day you don't
one day you like something one day you no longer
one day you cared about things one day you care about something else-

that is the nature of things,
the nature of human,

isn't it?

we are all frivolous creatures,

and it scares me so-

if someone would say 'i love you' or 'i like you',
immediately i would think in my mind

'yes, but for how long?'


(but/and so) i never expect anything,
so no expectations,
no disappointments.

it's good to keep things simple that way.
--------------------------------
focus.

had a good chat with Soohf and E yesterday over 'auntie's day' dinner.
E was talking about marriage, having children, buying a flat, staying with her in-laws, blah blah blah, and Soohf was telling me to rethink my priorities (反省basically) and my future, but really, what is there in my plate?

Besides my career i cannot really see anything else that is very important-
family and friends are a status quo, and i'm happy with that.
i've just been considering my career options, and thinking if this is really what i want to do with the rest of my life but i keep thinking perhaps if i hold on a little longer the answer would become clearer and i would be more decisive in reaching a conclusion.

Love, marriage, a house, children-
these are so vague to me,
so random, so non-existent;


right now there is nothing more that i want to do besides be a sponge-
to travel the world and absorb the sights and sounds,
to meet all kind of people and interact with them,
to learn and speak all kinds of languages,
to immerse myself in diverse cultures,

there is nothing more to life,

than being a sponge.
------------------------------------------
i really, really, really, really wanted to save my last bit of annual leave left for the year to go backpacking in Japan to see the sakura blossoms during the spring period,
it would be a good chance to travel alone, eat awesome Japanese food and also to brush up my almost-all-forgotten Japanese,



but between going back to Jogja and going somewhere new i have to make a choice-
and i only have 10 days of annual leave left

and i really, really, really, really miss the people back in Cangkringan/Code/Solo/Jogja

and/so it's really conflicting...

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