Handmade things used to hold a special place in my heart; a revered kind of status, a silly kind of exclusivity. Like those handwritten and folded letters/notes written with all kinds of different-coloured ink pens, handmade cards, homemade cookies etc. (all the kinds of things that mostly girls would do, especially if you are in a girls' school i suppose)

i am not embarrassed nor will i deny it-

i was/remain a big advocate of handmade things, i hate all things that are commercial and touristy-

Countless handwritten notes, hours spent on carefully coloured drawings, handmade brownies (just recently), stackloads of self-taken photos-turned postcards; this list is non-exhaustive.

but-

when was it that i/how i thought/felt changed?

Now i would look at a handmade present and feel disappointed about how poorly it is made, or marvel how the workmanship is less-than-satisfactory. I would think of ways it could be improved, or how it would have looked like if i had been the one who had done it. (Of course anything from Q or wz is a different matter- i will admit plainly that i love them above everything/anyone else with the sole exception of my mother) I would leave it in my drawer, not bearing to throw it away out of basic courtesy to the maker, but not having any much value or use for it.

sometimes i cannot help but sigh and think

'why? why did i get this now? This is something i would have liked very much if i had received it as a 14 year old'

The thing is, i am no longer a 14 year old, (very much) and sadly can no longer be satisfied by things/situations/people/relationships of this kind of a very 'student' nature-

It's not that i have become materialistic (not yet at least), or can only feel satisfied if i receive something that can only be bought-

it's just... difficult.

Now, usually i appraise an object/present using 3 aspects/criteria.

1. utility of the item: is it useful or not?

2. if it is not useful, it is attractive in appearance, and/or is it well made?

3. emotive value of the object/present-giver to me

A real-life example (textbooks are full of real life examples used to illustrate points, i shall not be stingy with mine-): J recently gave me a set of headphones wrapped in bubble wrap (though for no apparent reason). Appraising the situation, i found that 1. it is highly useful 2. though not made by him, it is well made, and the bubble wrap was + points because i like bubble wrap, it is attractive to me despite it's lack of utility to me in the situation. 3. i appreciate J very much as a person. Thus, consolidating all points, it was a very awesome gift in all aspects, and left a great impression.

A less recent example- Q, who has terrible handwriting (according to her, not so in my humble opinion) and is less-than artistically inclined, once handmade a card for me (with poem written inside) for chinese new year. It was 1. useless 2.not well made (if you want to speak about it strictly) 3. Held immense emotive value for/to me. I know Q does not generally make anything for anyone because she thinks she sucks at it. I know that to have had made me something it would have taken her ages, and an incredible amount of effort. I love/loved the card to bits, and still keep it till this day.

Having talked about positive examples, i would give a counter example (though not any explicit details)- Assuming i received something, present X.

Firstly if it's not very useful, then there is already not very much to say about it besides whether it looks good or is well-made or not. Things like soft toys (aside from domokun and shaun the sheep related merchandise which i have an irrational weakness for), key chains etc i find are rather useless and have limited appeal for me. Then there are things like cards and flowers, which are pretty much useless as well and thus, failing to fulfill the first criteria, i would then look at if they are pretty (flowers) or well made (card).

When you receive something that, on top of being useless, is poorly made, it's just really difficult to find the heart to try to appreciate the maker's efforts (however much they may have been, however long it may have taken, whoever it may have been). Yes there are people who are just hopeless at handicrafts, have awful handwriting, cluessless at making things etc. My solution/answer to them would be to apply more effort/seek advice from others, and ultimately if all fails, buy a present. . I am not criticising people with poor handicraft skills- People were/are not naturally excellent at making things (well not me at least). It takes whole lot of effort, skill and time. I take pride in only giving handmade presents of a respectable quality, because if i do not have the expertise in that area, or the knowledge or the time, i would rather buy something useful for the person. Because a commercially-bought, well made (though not by you) useful present leaves a better and more lasting impression than some half-assed useless object that looks like you took half a day to conjure up (not to you, no, sadly, but to the receipent yes)

Having failed the first two criteria, i then move on to the third criteria to assess the situation/item. The emotive value of the maker of the present. To be fair, i always tell others (especially small children) to be thankful of any present that they receive from anyone (because this is what my mother told me as a child) but i am finding this increasingly difficult, esepcially in situations such as the one below. Emotive value usually extends to the domain/border of my family, very close friends, somewhat close friends, and then kind of diminishes from there.

When someone you do not know very well/are not very close to gives you a useless and poorly made present, it becomes a highly difficult task to appraise the present.

After having said so much, the bottom line is-

It is unwise to give someone a handmade present if it looks like you put it together in 2 hours.

(because) the end result would be a '-' instead of a '+'.