it's because i'm a fundamentally flawed person.

nothing/no one can truly satisfy me/make me truly happy

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okay so maybe it was my fault-

i don't (usually) intentionally mess with people's minds.

but it was just a random comment/statement that didn't mean anything,

like some casual remark or subconscious gesture.

it was only 'could', nothing more.

and now,

'how r u feelin'

like, er, seriously? =/

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met T for dinner. T reminds me of M in so many ways, i cannot begin to describe-

the way T talks, the laid-backness, the fact that T smokes (like M), the fact that T is not like most of the people i know (just like M, a little, you know, different)-

but of course nobody is exactly the same, just as two stones on the beach are never identical.

it was okay-

i think i was decent company.

i think i'm getting pretty good at talking to people.

You can tell when people like talking to you, whether you make them feel at ease, whether they like it that you're laughing at their jokes, whether they enjoy your company, whether they want to see/meet you again.

to think of things this way, it's a little evil/despicable/disgusting, yes,

but it's true,

it's becoming easy.

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the true reason why i drink green tea (the real tea bag kind), is because it calms my rapidly beating heart.

so if i feel like yelling/screaming/crying/freaking out

i don't.

i just drink the tea,

and i'll be fine.

well, at least better anyway.