i know i am seriously outdated and in order for any kind of dream to be realized it takes (besides talent) quite a bit of hard work and learning but i am so averse!

i can't be living in the era of colour pencils, carbon lead and water colour anymore-

it's time to wake up and smell the roses and fiddle with photoshop and adobe and layers and whatever. but i am so lazy, and so un-bothered, and (kind of) so scared! (of all this technology). As silly as it sounds....

When i did art, in my era (goodness it sounds like i am 1000000 years old), nobody bloody knew about photoshop- i always got a B for handicrafts (because i am not tidy and neat at all) and an awesome A for art (painting, colour rendering, sketching whatever) and now i have to learn how to colour my picture using a mouse/tablet, and do all kinds of funny things and 'layers' over it...

it might have been best i didn't pursue art- (how would i make a living?)

but then besides bread people need dreams to keep themselves alive

things worth holding on to

(not powerpoint presentations, excel sheets and reports)

i think i will try to learn some of this new technology.

i said try.

--------------------------------------------------------------

i am (secretly) very pleased with myself because i have been using an mp3 player that's pretending to be a cassette tape player since i got back from London. One particular day I whipped it out to use it while i was finishing some work during the after-work hours and the office manager was so shocked by it (and some random people on the train these days)

yeah i know it's kind of idiotic but i like it that way-

because we're always pretending to be something we're not, right? (most of the time, for most people anyway).

i'm not-so-secretly an old-soul- living in the modern era, i'd love to be indie, but i am not (not really anyway), so i make do with an mp3 player, (which everybody probably uses) but it looks like a casette tape player, (which is the critical twist! ha!).

and even more so i like it because it's not an ipod. Not the thing that everyone carries; the music that everyone listens to; the thing that everyone likes.

what's the sense in liking something if it loses it's originality?

i know i'm always setting out/looking for non-mainstream/indie things but really what i really want is to see if there are things that are actually much better than what everybody likes or wants or is having.

the truth is i secretly chuckle to myself if someone asks me for song recommendations and i belt out some obscure tune or mention a less mainstream/well know group/singer. Because i like the feeling of knowing that something's really good, but it's not propelled to being overplayed on the radio or being over-'faved' by people.

i know, i am such an ass, right?

(but of course i'd be happy if someone else i met said he/she liked Moloko, or owns an mp3 player that looks like a cassette tape player. After all, how many of such people can there be here, anyway?)