i thought i knew somethings but (apparently) i don't-

it's like when you thought you had somebody figured out realization only dawns upon you belatedly that you don't seem to know the person at all; it's like going from acquaintances, to friends, to strangers-

there's no regret or sadness

it just feels strange.

not so long ago a friend of mine made a second facebook account for those whom she really considers are her real friends, because she felt like browsing through her original account was like 'looking at stranger's lives, it's weird, i don't even know them'. (maybe i should consider doing the same because)

Yes, even given that in our age of (living in/with) excess- extra bags, extra shoes, extra clothes; multiple jobs, multiple cars, multiple apartments; too much food (in the fridge), too many books to keep up reading; with the sole exception of too many children (to the disappointment of the government),

what's the point of having a whole network of people who are my 'friends' when you don't even care/know what people are doing/how they are living their lives anymore? Is it not sad/ironic that humans need to use networking sites to keep in touch with each other/stalk each other?

you(i)/everyone/anyone do things to make people feel better- even if sometimes reality is not the case. It includes (sometimes) telling (very small) white lies to make life feel better.

if people feel better living a lie- maybe that's for the/their better;

but i couldn't really lie to myself-

i don't know you-

or at least i don't think i know you, anymore.

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i don't know if it's just me being weird, but i've always had this way of looking at things-

good things, even if i couldn't have them for myself, i'd always want (to get) them for others.

The shoes that didn't fit; the clothes that didn't suit; the book that didn't go;

i just have a habit of buying things for others because i like them so much even if they don't suit me, or suit others better (usually i have a very distinct someone in mind) and give them away.

and as crummy as it sounds-

the good things in life i'd always wanted but couldn't have-

i wished/wish that those around me would hold/have/own

the coolest camera; the best notebook; the awesome haircut; the caring boyfriend

it's strange, because i felt this unspeakable sadness when a friend told me she had broke up with her boyfriend.

it's strange/pseudo-benevolent , it sounds-

but i would have really wanted/wished for her to have that/a caring boyfriend-

(even if i don't have one)

and to just be happy, you know?

cause sometimes just seeing someone wear the pair of shoes you bought for her makes your day.