i imagine myself running down this road-

it's endless and it's just dimly light with the street lights by the side and there's no one else and it's just the sound of my heart pumping, the feeling of adrenaline racing through my blood, the music blasting in my ears and the sound of my feet bouncing off the ground-

i wanna run-

i want to run so badly- like i've never ever wanted anything so badly before-

i wanna run, dance, jump, whatever! i just want to feel like i'm alive again!

(just 3 more days i swear- i can wiggle and tap my toes already! just get this thing off me so i can run free and my feet can step on the ground like they're made to!!!!)

---------------------------------------------

i am angry, frustrated, sad, conflicted- whatever.

it's all youthful folly and carelessness; this never happens to any normal person! only ever to me!

throughout this whole 'ordeal' my sis mused that i never seemed to complain about anyone or anything much- and of course, why should i? when the folly is all mine.

just suck it in, bear the rut, and await better times!

but above all,

i'm thankful for this wonderful amazing regenerative ability inside of me,

and i'm thankful for being young,

and being alive.

feel's great to be alive, man.