i know there's a whole bunch of literature out there that's based on how birth order profoundly influences and affects the personality, cognitive development and life trajectories of individuals but call me a sceptic, i've never really believed in this. It irks me sometimes, however, that the instances in life just seem to confirm these theories (or hypotheses since they can't technically be 'proven').

for one- falling squarely into the 'middle child syndrome' stereotype, i do find that sometimes i feel inadequate, constantly tend to the priorities, feelings, and concerns of others, need affirmation and feel unloved. Also, strangely, i feel the immense need for equality, above all things. Yes, anal as it sounds, i was the child, who at dinner time, would count the number of nuggets on the plate and the proceed to only take my share (which would be 2, since my mother usually fried 12. there are 5 of us.) Yes, there were 2 extra nuggets, but in my strong belief, those 2 were not within any individual's entitlement besides my parents', and no one should and could be in possession of them nor bestow them upon anyone else. Unless my mother offered to give me extra, i would never take more than my share.

my sister, however, was an incredible source of bewilderment to me.
she was the kind of person, who would simply just eat 3 nuggets (or however many or little she wanted), without giving much a second thought, nor caring if there were amply resources (food in this case) left to be shared amongst all our family members. It was it straight-forward kind of egocentric behaviour that irked me and evoked my extreme distaste for her during childhood, which eventually flattened our later during adolescence, as maturity came to me and i grew to be less concerned over such small matters.

it simply seemed/seems that being the youngest implied some kind of unspoken priviledge;
simply because she was,

the young one.

housework- exemplar of the unspoken privilege.
actually, i don't even remember the last time my sister did real housework. to be fair, there have been times when wz has helped out- particularly now, with my mother's busy schedule, my elder sister's semi-refusal to do housework, and my foot nicely packed in a backslab cast.But this remains an anomaly; a special case.
Normally, she never seemed to need to do it, because the responsibility would just naturally fall on someone else- my mother, my elder sister, me. even if one of us didn't do it, it would eventually get done.

which is strange, because housework has been a simple yet symbolic task within our household- something that signifies a kind of step towards maturity and adulthood. By taking over some of what used to be my mother's duties, it symbolized a kind of development and nurturing, and becoming.

But for wz, it just never happened.
occasionally she did housework when my mother and sister was too preoccupied with work, but it just never happened in the same way as a kind of unique experience that my elder sister and i had gone through.

and strangely,
none of us seems/seemed to expect her to do it.
occasionally when i was younger and less thoughtful i'd grumble a little and mutter some complaints under my breath while proceeding to assist my mother with the housework e.g. vacuum, but i'd never had expectations that wz would actually undertake any form of housework- if she did it it was a bonus, but for me and my elder sister, it was a given.

and then suddenly this struck me one day, and i questioned myself-
why?

was it because she was/is young?
-no, i recall clearly that i started helping my mother with the housework from a young age myself, and it was a similar case for my elder sister. And considering that she's now no longer a child, there are no kinds of special child privileges that should apply to her. by right, that is.

was it because she's skinny?
- sometimes honestly i worry about her physique. It's come to the point where when we go grocery shopping she's always carrying either nothing or the lightest bag of things, and all the heavy items are in my mom, my sis, or my hands, and she can just get away with not wanting to help more. Maybe because she's skinny, sometimes i worry if her physical strength is able to withstand these chores- but it's just not a legitimate reason to evade housework entirely.


in the end it seemed like a strange monologue to myself, simply because i could not figure out why our expectations have become shaped in such a manner.

and the big problem now is-
my elder sister is totally not digging it.

they've always had some communication problems, and given that my elder sister has issues, wz's non-involvement in household responsibilities has always proven to be the spark to light up my elder sister's fire. For some unecessary conflict. Sometimes i find myself in the middle of the heat, trying to substantiate her behaviour and trying to protect wz's stand, but it scares me a little, how i've slowly morphed into the over-doting sister archetype?
is it not right to have expectations for her, that apply to my elder sister and to me as well?
simple expectations, of a uniform standard, that aren't even particularly difficult to achieve-

are we giving her too much free rein, and too little discipline? sometimes i wonder.


in the end, feeling a little miffed,
i find myself grudgingly agreeing that the whole psychology about birth order seems to be at least (somewhat) correct.

cause we are living proof of it, man.