'you must understand that we are alumni and we're not staying here and half our heart isn't in eusoff. you must understand that she has work and she's busy. a lot of things she just expects and 'considered done. if you don't know your steps then you have to go learn it on your own so don't expect her to teach or help clean up.so if you give her 100%, she sees the effort, she will give it back.'

yeah, couldn't agree more.

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on our way back from piecing today tingyi lamented that things are so different and i couldn't help but agree and of course there's no point in dwelling in this nonsense anymore. but it's the same logic as getting angry with a person. you can relate to what the person's circumstances but that doesn't mean you can forgive his/her behaviour/actions, right? it's just not the same.

admittedly i am frustrated with many things in DP this year, and so are many other people [as it seems] and i cannot help [sometimes] but let the frustration get the better of me.

things like feeling frustrated for doing the right steps but standing out cause everyone in the row is forgetting to do cannon, things like helping teach people who went on vacation and don't know the steps, things like dropping steps here and there, being fast here and there, things like stepping/tripping over my oh-so-lovely [as how some people put it] skirt, things like choreos that [sometimes] don't seem to care, things like frustration at not having a ballet background and thus having less parts and feeling like a calefare, things like masks and gloves and the feeling of the energy being bottled up by these superficial things, things like the slipups of the production team, things like wasting time at piecing because of delays for no good reason, things like the way some people criticise others when they talk [why], things like venue issues, things like feelings of conflict/ambivalence at having to convince myself to convince others to pay this price to come watch this play and dance and me inside of it, things like that, many many, much, and much

yes dance is wonderful but i am very, very tired.

i think this year if there was a dance on frustration i would really dance it damn well.

luckily i have sold the tickets, if not, how would i, at this point of time,

be able to convince you to come to watch us?