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hello friends!

i am on a nice holiday now [by the time you read this]

it means i am happy [mostly hopefully] and alive [amazing],

and also, if you talk to me and i do not reply online,

i may not have been at the computer there to see it and to reply you,

or maybe i think you've been acting too neurotic for me to deal with,

or maybe i'm not interested in what you have to say/ask,

or maybe i'm not ready to talk to you yet,

or maybe i'm just busy with other things.

whichever of the above

by the time i come back i will be back with many awesome photos,

and i will be very very very very busy [i hope]

and i will study very very hard,

so if you're being neurotic deal with it cause i don't have time to bother

but if you're not [that person] then all's good,

things will all be better when i am back.

holidays do miracles.

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in case you don't know you're neurotic,

which i think [sadly] might really be the case,

since sometimes you're so dense,

i think you need to know you're acting neurotic beyond comprehension.

like yeoh yee yee saying that the beehoon/noodles for hall breakfast is 'spicy beyond reason'

i have never had the practice of sending new year/xmas/whatever festive season smses because i simply [usually] find it a waste of time and money, and i seldom have the practice of replying to others' festive messages, so why is it that you get all insecure when i don't reply? weird.

and to get someone else to sms me the same thing just to see if i reply to the person but not you is seriously something only an insecure secondary school girl would do. huge turn-off.

and it is simply normal if you msn me 10 times and out of 10, 9 times i dont reply because either i am not at the computer or i am busy or i am lazy to reply or i can't be bothered.

it happens for every single person; i have no special preference. unless it's my kid sister.

we were friends before this, we get along rather well, can carry a conversation but we were never REALLY CLOSE friends, don't you think? just ask yourself and answer honestly. and i am sure we are comfortable with the way things were before and things will remain that way,

which means we remain friends but not really close friends.

so why are you acting weird and getting panicky and all neurotic and stuff?

if i see you i will still smile and say hello what.

[just that i have not seen you that much recently]

not like i am avoiding you [like i could be bothered to] or what not.

i really don't have time to bother about these things,

just act normal,

and if you still want to be friends,

then deal with your insecurity man.

and if after reading this you think i am angry with your

and/or you get more insecure

i think you are really psycho

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hullo.

if you talk to me maybe i am too happy that you wanted to talk to me but i don't think i am in the right frame of mind/ready to reply, so i choose/chose to pretend i am not there.

i know that is slightly cunning and somewhat despicable but i cannot deal with things yet

if you want to know if i am alive, yes

happy is a subjective concept, so maybe,

busy is subjective too, so no, since you're probably busier.

[duh you are always busy what.]

if you want to know how things are for me this semester

not really that good some things are really depressing [my CAP for example]

[and then at this point of time you will say something like 'when things reach the lowest point they can only get better' and then i will roll my eyes and laugh dryly at your comment though i know it is sincere but since you are so emo about things yourself i hardly see it working for me]

but all we all continue living so yes i am still alive and well

[in that sense]

you can always write me emails, [not meaning that i reply]

like how i wrote to you before, when you were far away; [since i didnt expect replies from you]

and i can know if you're alive, and happy

but of course you are busy so don't bother

i always write here

[maybe not always but often enough]

so if suddenly there is no post here for maybe 2 months you will know i am dead.

but of course i am alive. [as can be seen]

maybe one day,

when i am older,

when you are happy,

when pride is no longer important to me,

when these things don't matter that much anymore,

when i see you in person,

i will smile, and say hello,

and smack you hard on the back,

and then you will annoy me with 'uh-huh'

and i will update you about everything that's happening in my life

and you will tell me things you never told anyone else, like before-

i hope that you can be happy!

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没想到的是，

过了那么久，

还是会有些痛的感觉。

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度假就是要开心的，

反正这全部也都是最后一次了，

最后一次的考试，最后一次的公演，

最后一个学期，最后一次活在宿舍

那就暂时撇开这里所有的一切；

那些顾虑，那些烦恼，那些心结，那些忘不掉的东西，

回来的时候，

一切归零，

整理好思绪，

收拾好心情，

准备好道别的话；

当时间到了，

面带微笑，

住在这个地方，可能失去的东西从此再也找不回来，

可是学到的东西，交道的朋友，感激的事物的确不少，

也没有什么牢骚，没什么伤感遗憾，

这一切，

也算是一种缘分，

开心的不开心的 失去的得到的，

也就这样，我们的青春挥霍了，

就带着知足的心，

面对未来更多艰难的考验吧！